


scars you hide

by parkrstark



Category: Castle
Genre: Drug Use, Established Relationship, F/M, Kidnapping, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Thanksgiving, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-08-17 08:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8137792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkrstark/pseuds/parkrstark
Summary: Their most recent case brings up a face that Kevin hasn't seen in years; his sister that kicked him out of her life years ago. Javier doesn't like her and she doesn't like him. But when something goes wrong and Kevin goes missing, they need to work together to get him back before it's too late.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a fic that I have been writing for a year. I started last October in class and finally finished and typed it up during the summer. I have the fic complete, so you can expect a weekly update.
> 
> I'm just warning you all in the beginning: I know nothing about drugs and drug rings and anything like this so consider it creative liberty if nothing makes sense and please bear with me.

“Sir, he’s here.”

The irritation was wiped from Magnus’ face. “Just in time. Watch him while I bring our guest in.” Before he left, he ripped the knife from Kevin’s thigh suddenly, eliciting another sharp cry of pain from him.

Kevin gasped out quick and uneven breaths as he watched his blood start to pool out of the wound.

“With pleasure,” Hahn said, walking back to stand in front of Kevin. He looked down at Kevin as he took a long drag from his cigarette. With a puff, he blew a cloud of smoke into Kevin’s face. “What? You thought just because the boss is gone our fun is over?” He lifted the cigarette in front of his face to inspect the growing burning ash, but he didn’t flick it.

“Good thing you’re wrong,” Hahn grinned. He brought the cigarette down on Kevin’s wrist and kept pushing it down until all the ashes were gone.

Kevin tried to hold back the scream, but he couldn’t. So he screamed. He had done great at first staying silent, but ever since he let the first one out, the others were impossible to ignore. Because his wrist was tied down, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t escape the burning. The smell of burnt skin made him nauseous. Even more nauseous than he had already been.

Hahn finally lifted his hand and threw the cigarette to the ground. Kevin wished he burnt his hand since he was already numb in his hands and feet from being tied up so long.

Kevin took a deep ragged breath and tried to steady his breathing. Each breath pulled at the scrapes and bruises on his chest and each pull sent more waves of pain.

“Isn’t this fun?” Hahn asked as he stood up straight and pulled out a syringe from his pocket. “But, I do feel bad. You look like you’re in so much pain.” His voice was full of faux concern. “Maybe this will help make the pain go away.”

Kevin shook in his restraints. No. He didn’t want any more drugs. Not that Hahn cared. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it more watching Kevin freak out. He laughed as he stuck the needle in Kevin’s arm and shot the drug in.

He pulled it out carelessly and Kevin winced. He had no clue what he was getting now, but he just wanted it to end. He closed his eyes and groaned, his headache and the rest of his pain making itself known as the liquid spread throughout his body.

“Wake up, sweetheart. We’re just getting started.” Hahn’s fist punched him in the face and Kevin groaned painfully. Then there was another punch to the other side of his face. Kevin slowly let his eyes open up at Hahn just in time to see another fist come flying to him. He didn’t even bother trying to get out of the way. What was the point?

He wished he would get knocked out so he didn’t have to be awake for any of this. Another punch, this time to his gut, but he refused to scream again. He bit his lip hard instead. He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed. He prayed harder than he had in awhile. But instead of God, he found himself praying to Javier.

Javi, I can’t hold on much longer. I need you. Please.

Hahn stuck his finger in the hole that Magnus’s knife had left behind and twisted it around painfully. Kevin’s eyes shot open and he choked out a scream. Hahn smiled and dug his finger in deeper. Kevin gasped in pain, still having yet to catch his breath.

Hahn pulled his finger out slow and roughly with a grin. “I told you we’d break you.”

Kevin just glared, or tried to. His vision was swimming and his heart was beating wildly in his chest. He could hold on. He had to. Javier was coming for him.

Hahn stood up and picked up the drill that Magnus had left. Kevin’s eyes widened as he flicked it on and held it close to his thigh. “Now here comes my favorite part.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for such positive reviews on the prologue! I hope you like this next update:)

_56 hours earlier..._

"Hey, Kev, are you free this Thanksgiving?" Javier asked his partner as they stepped out of their Charger.

Kevin raised his eyebrows. "Javi, I'll be with you, so if you're free then so am I."

Javier grinned. "Awesome. Make sure you're dressed nicely at 12. Mama invited us over."

"12?" Kevin echoed.

"Traditions, Ryan. You're helping cook the meal. You think you're going to show up with your lazy ass just in time to eat and then leave? I don't think so." Javier scoffed.

But Kevin had a genuine smile on his face. "No, it's okay. I've never done anything like that, so it'll be fun."

"No way, " Javier almost shouted just as they reached Castle and Beckett's sides. "I've tasted your food. Stay the hell away from my Thanksgiving dinner. You can scoop the cranberry sauce out of the can. And set the table. That's it."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "Come on, Javi. I'm not that bad. Besides, Mama will show me how to cook everything."

Javier knew Kevin was right; his mother always went the extra mile to make Kevin feel like her own son.

"Thanksgiving with the in-laws, Ryan?" Castle asked with a grin when the four reached the crime scene.

Kevin and Javier made eye contact for a brief moment before simultaneously rolling their eyes.

"You've still got a week before possibly poisoning Esposito. You should watch the Food Network for a few hours." Castle suggested as he held up the police tape for Beckett to walk under.

"Javi's exaggerating, Castle. I can cook decently. Just nothing too fancy." Kevin defended himself.

"You three can exchange cookbooks all you want later. But now, we have a murder to solve." Beckett raised her eyebrows when she looked at the boys.

They rolled their eyes but joined Beckett closer to the body. On the ground just in front of an old warehouse was a man that looked to be in his 40s. He was killed by the GSW to his chest.

"Someone should have told him this isn't the best place for a morning run," Javier commented on the t-shirt and shorts he was wearing.

"I used to work around here in my Narc days." Kevin shook his head, leaving the rest unsaid.

"Drug deal went wrong?" Castle guessed.

"Dude, look at him. He was running and obviously looks well trained. I doubt he'd ruin himself with drugs." Javier pointed out as he kneeled down to get a better look at the body.

Using her gloved hands, Beckett took the man's wallet from his front pocket. She opened it up and read off from the ID, "Vincent Connors."

"I think that's what is tricky about a case like this. I think this was just a wrong place, wrong time kinda thing," Kevin said, pulling out his small notepad to take his notes in.

Beckett looked around at the top of the buildings searching for any means of recording in this area. Her eyes spotted one just above the entrance to a dingy, run-down motel building next door. "Let's get that tape."

Kevin followed her gaze and nodded before walking towards the motel building.

"We'll meet you back at the precinct," Javier said, following Kevin. When he caught up to his partner, he warned him, "Don't worry if Mama yells at you when you come over. She's pretending to be pissed that we didn't tell her about us sooner."

Kevin smiled. "I'll give her my 'I'm sorry' face. We both know she can't stay mad at me."

"Great, then she'll blame it all on me." Javier rolled his eyes with a grin.

Kevin pushed himself up against Javier's side but refrained from holding his hand when they were still surrounded by officers and detectives. "I won't let you take all the blame." And Kevin really couldn't because it was him that wanted to keep their relationship a secret for so long.

Every other person he ever came out to in life thought of differently or fully cut him off. The only two people that knew and didn't care in his entire life were Castle and Beckett. The day after him and Javier got together, Castle and Beckett could easily tell. They said nothing except for when Castle exclaimed, "You owe me 20 bucks, Beckett!" They celebrated that night at the Old Haunt. Their acceptance and excitement even were a nice refresher for Kevin.

Stepping through the front door of the motel building, Kevin could see why this was a good spot for a drug deal; there was no security. The camera outside looked to be the only thing they could afford.

Kevin made a face as a cockroach skittered across the floor just in front of their feet. Javier shook his head and kept walking to the front desk. He looked around the untidy desk for a bell to signal their arrival to someone in the office behind the desk. He exchanged a questioning look with Kevin before he shrugged his shoulders and knocked loudly on the top of the desk.

After a few more knocks on the desk, a woman stepped out of the office grumbling under her breath. She saw Kevin and Javier and said flatly, "One king?"

Kevin's face scrunched up as he pulled out his badge. "We're not here for a room, ma'am."

The woman's face went from uninterested to displeased at the sight of Kevin's shield. "Then what do you want?"

"Have you been here all night?" Javier asked.

"Maybe."

Kevin sighed, knowing she was going to be horribly difficult. "Do you remember hearing a gunshot between 9 and 12 last night."

The woman pursed her lips. "Even if I do, wouldn't be no surprise. My question is, why all of a sudden are you cops acting like you care. One of you get shot?"

Kevin gritted his teeth but knew he had to be the one to answer her or else Javier would claw her throat out. "No. A man name Vincent Connors was killed. It looks like he walked into the middle of drug business."

The woman huffed. "Yeah? Tell me what ain't new." She crossed her arms. "If you cops actually came out here and did your job and gave a damn then there wouldn't be so much trouble out here."

Javier finally got to put his two cents in. "There are over 35,000 members of the NYPD to protect over 8 million people living in New York. So-."

"Listen, we're just trying to help, okay. We came over to see if we could check the feed recorded on your camera outside. Maybe it caught the shooter."

The woman smiled, not nicely. "I'm sorry, detective, but that's broken. With all the money I put into taxes to pay your salary, I just don't have enough leftover to take care of my own business."

Javier grinned faux right back. "Then why don't you just give us the most recent tape you have?"

"Show me a warrant," she replied smugly.

"You see, that right there is your problem. You talk like we leave you here to fend for yourself, but when we come to help, you make it impossible." Javier finally snapped.

"You're a little late with your _help_. Stop acting like you're the heroes."

"Fine. You keep trying to give us some bullshit story about broken tapes and whatnot. But I promise that once we leave, the gang behind all this will come to the same conclusion as us and will come looking for the tapes. And I'm willing to bet that they won't believe your crap either. And they don't follow laws so you can look forward to them stealing your tapes and leaving you on the floor with a bullet in your chest just like Vincent Connors." Javier narrowed his eyes at her.

Kevin finished his partner's ominous warning. "So help us put these animals behind bars so they can't hurt anyone ever again."

The woman hesitated, thinking it over in her head before she sighed. "Fine. I think I may have caught something."

* * *

Kevin and Javier returned to the 12th a half hour later and found Castle and Beckett over by their murder board. Kevin waved the tape. "We think we've got something here."

"Good," Beckett said, looking up. "Because the only thing we got from Vincent Connors Sr. was about how great of a son of he had. His background is spotless with no room for any enemies. Looks like this may just be a classic case of 'wrong place, wrong time'.

"Then hopefully that'll help." Kevin nodded his head towards the tech room before walking ahead.

"What took you guys so long to get it?" Castle asked as they walked into the room and he shut the door behind them. "We were starting to think you two stopped to check out the beds."

Kevin scoffed. "Please, if Javi even thought about bringing me to a place like that I would withhold sex for a month."

Javier raised his eyebrows. "Like you could resist this." He gestured to himself. Kevin just rolled his eyes and turned to the computer to set up the camera feed.

"Needy, huh?" Castle turned to Javier.

"Like you wouldn't believe. But he's worth it." Javier pinched Kevin's ass and Kevin did his best to ignore the two. Beckett just rolled her eyes.

Once the feed started playing, they saw the street in front of the warehouse. "Fast forward to early this morning," Beckett ordered.

Kevin nodded and quickly fast forwarded through the footage until they saw Vincent Connors jogging down the pavement. Kevin paused the video and read the timestamp, "5:41 am, Vincent Connors comes running down the block. Since he's the first one to come into view I'm guessing that the gang came from the other side."

Javier agreed. "Hopefully they'll cross our view when fleeing the scene."

They watched the next few moments after Kevin pressed play. Suddenly, there was a woman running down the street, but she was turned away from the camera. "C'mon," Beckett muttered, "turn around."

As if she could hear Beckett, the woman whipped her head around watching behind her. Her face was covered in fear with her wide blue eyes clearly searching for anyone following her. Kevin skillfully paused the video in the quick second she had turned around and zoomed into her face.

"Let's run her through facial recognition and see if there's anything in our system," Beckett said, studying the girl.

Kevin remained still. His wide blue eyes stared directly into the girl's. Javier noticed Kevin's reaction and put a hand on his lower back. "You okay, Kev?"

"I," Kevin paused to clear his throat. "I don't think we'll need to run her through the system," he said shakily.

Javier furrowed his brow as he stared at the pause video screen. "Why not?"

"I know who she is. I think I have a buddy who still keeps an eye on her."

Javier wasn't entirely convinced, but he didn't say anything. If Kevin's behavior got worse, he would bring it up when were alone.

"I'll go call him," Kevin said before stepping out of the room.

Beckett looked over at Javier, giving him a look, but he didn't even need to be told before he was following Kevin to make sure he was okay.

* * *

"Hey, Jimmy, it's Ryan," Kevin said as soon as his call was answered.

" _Hey, man. It's been a while. How're you doing?"_

"Good, good. Listen, I need to call in a favor." Kevin ran a hand through his hair.

" _Not a problem. Whatcha need?"_

"Do you still keep your tabs on Emily?"

" _Yeah, of course. You need to know where her crew is?"_

"Her specifically if you could." Kevin bit his lip anxiously hoping that Jim knew where she was.

" _She's been breaking from the pack recently. But she always goes back. If she's not at the house, she's hiding out at a seedy Chinese restaurant on 54th and Main. You can probably catch her now if you hurry, it's her lunch time."_

"Thanks. Have you heard anything going on in her crew?" Kevin played with his tie hoping Jim could help with their case.

" _Not much. I've heard some talk about them suspecting a rat, but we called it into all the departments. If there's a rat, it's no one from the NYPD."_

"Maybe they're taking themselves out." Kevin chuckled dryly.

" _One can only hope."_

"Alright, I gotta run, but I'll definitely be in touch these next few days."

" _You got a case?"_

"Yeah."

" _Good luck to you then. Talk to you later."_

Kevin nodded and said his goodbyes before hanging up. He turned around to see Javier watching him from the doorway.

"Who's Emily?"

"The girl on the video. I got a tip from one of my old Narc buddies." Kevin pocketed his phone. "We gotta now if we're gonna catch her."

* * *

"There she is," Kevin said as they pulled up across the street from a strip of restaurants.

Emily was walking out of a Chinese place with food containers in her hands.

Javier nodded and followed Kevin out of their car. They both crossed the street and came up behind her.

"Emily, NYPD" Kevin yelled to catch her attention. She turned around with wide eyes. Before either Kevin or Javier realized what was happening, she threw the food containers at Kevin. Thankfully, the hot broth from her wonton soup hit his jacket. But the rice and chicken exploded against his face.

Kevin hissed in pain and quickly wiped the burning sauce and bits of food on his face. Emily used the distraction to quickly run away. Javier ran to Kevin's side. "Ryan, are you okay?" His voice was full of concern as he helped brush what was left off his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kevin grumbled. He opened up his eyes, confident that he got enough sauce off his face that it wouldn't drip into his eyes. "Let's get her."

Javier waited to see if Kevin was really okay before he started running behind him. They swerved through the crowd and they thought they lost her for a moment until they turned the corner and saw her booking it.

Kevin clenched his teeth and increased his pace to catch up to their fleeing suspect. Just before she could jump into the street of rushing traffic, he tackled her to the ground. They rolled on the concrete and Emily tried to knee him in the stomach to get away from him, but Javier was by his side and dragging her off of him. He rolled her over on her stomach and started to secure his handcuffs on her wrists.

"Hey, get off of me! Don't you know it ain't right to hit a lady?" Emily struggled in Javier's grip.

"You weren't acting like a lady before when you threw your dinner on my partner's face." Javier smirked when she flinched at the snap of his cuffs.

"He's just lucky that's all he got!" She snarled. "Can you at least let me stand up? Your knee is digging into my leg."

"You're just lucky this is all you're getting. You try and hurt my partner again and you'll regret it."

Emily turned her head around to try and look at Javier. "Really? Kevin's your partner? That must suck, man. Tell me: how many times has he let you down?"

Javier pressed her harder into the pavement. "Not once. Now _you tell me_ how the hell do you know my partner?"

Emily smirked. "What? Didn't he tell you about me? I'm his little sister."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter and maybe even leave a review. 
> 
> Until next time,


	3. Chapter 3

" _Kevin!" Emily came running into his room with tears running down her cheeks. "Jack took the last cookie and he's not sharing!"_

_Kevin sighed and looked up from his homework. "I saved mine for you. Did you eat it?"_

" _No. Tommy did! He said it was_ his _cookie." Kevin's six year old sister ran to his side and started tugging on his wrist. "Can you come tell them to stop? They won't listen to me."_

" _They're not going to listen to me either, Emma." It was true; they were 13 and 15 while Kevin was only 9._

" _Try!" She begged, using her puppy dog pout._

_Kevin groaned and relented. "Fine. but I don't think you're getting your cookie." He stood up and allowed her to drag him out of his room, down the stairs and into the kitchen. There were their two brothers at the table eating the cookie crumbs off the plate._

" _Hey!" Emily shrieked. "You said you'd wait for Kevin to pick who got to eat the cookie."_

" _Oops, we lied," said Jack, their 13-year old brother._

_Emily narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms around her chest. "I'm telling Da!"_

_Thomas, their eldest brother. laughed. "Go ahead, tattle tale."_

_Kevin's eyes widened; he knew that their father not only hated when his children tattled, but he was already in a grumpy mood from work. "No, Emily. It's okay. I'll get your a new cookie."_

_But she didn't listen and dashed up the stairs screaming for their dad. Her three brothers followed, Kevin trying to stop her and Jack and Thomas wanting to see her yelled at._

_Emily ran straight into their dad's office without knocking and immediately whined, "Dad, Jack ate my cookie!"_

_Their father quickly pivoted on his feet and right away the anger was evident on his face, especially in his eyes. "Emily Ryan! Not only did you just barge in here whining, but you're tattling."_

_She backed away next to Kevin, when she became frightened by her father's booming voice._

" _I have zero tolerance for rats in this house. Get to your room now and if I hear you telling on your brothers once more, you'll be in a heap of trouble."_

_Emily sniffled and lowered her head._

" _And, Kevin, next time watch your sister so she doesn't disrupt me while I'm working." His glare turned to his youngest son unfairly. It wasn't his job to watch her and he wasn't even the one that got her upset. But, Jack and Thomas would never be blamed; they were the wonder children in their father's eyes._

" _Yes, Da," he replied before taking his sister's hand and leading her out of the room. They ignored the laughs from their brothers as they passed._

_Once inside her bedroom, Kevin said, "Wait here, okay? I'll be back in a few minutes." She nodded as she wiped her nose with her sleeve._

_A half hour later, he returned with a small bag for his sister. He handed it to her and said, "I got you a surprise."_

_Her eyes lit up when she looked inside. "You buyed me cookies?" She asked in disbelief. "Where'd you get the money?"_

_Kevin grinned. "Shh, don't tell Thomas. I took it from the stock of money he has under his bed."_

_She smiled down at her package of three large chocolate chip cookies. "Thanks, Kevvie."_

_Kevin sat up on her bed and pulled her into his lap. Kissing the top of her head, he said, "You're welcome, Emma."_

_She leaned her head against his chest. "But what if Tommy finds out you took his money? You'll be in trouble."_

" _As long as my little sister is happy, I don't care."_

* * *

Kevin stared at Emily sitting in the Interrogation room and it hurt that he couldn't see his little girl in there anymore. That pigtailed toddler that used to run into his bed when she had nightmares was gone.

She was 31-years old now and her blond curls were cut off unevenly at her shoulders. Her hair was greasy and her eyes had dark bags underneath them. From Kevin's many years in Narcotics, he could tell she was using drugs regularly. Her eyes were no longer bright. With one glance, Kevin could see how empty and broken. Kevin wished he never let her out of his sight and then maybe she wouldn't have ended up like that.

The door opening interrupted his thoughts. There was a hand on his back and he heard Javier say, "How're you feeling?"

Kevin turned away from the glass to face his boyfriend. He saw Castle and Beckett just behind him. "My neck is a little sore from where she caught me with the broth, but I'm okay, my jacket caught most of it."

"Did she really throw take-out at you?" Castle asked, peering around Javier to inspect Kevin's neck.

"You'd be surprised at what perps throw at us. If they're holding something, you better get ready to duck." Beckett came around to see if Kevin was really okay.

"I didn't think she'd throw it," Kevin said in a low voice.

"I don't care that she's your sister. I wasn't lying when I said she'd regret it if she tried to hurt you again." Javier glared at her through the glass.

Kevin smirked softly. "I'll be okay, Javi."

Javier nodded. "You want to crack her?"

Kevin straightened his posture with a sigh. "Yeah, let's go."

Before the two left observation room, Beckett asked, "You're sure you're okay with this? She is your sister."

"I need to do this."

She patted his shoulder with an encouraging smile. "Alright, go for it, Ryan. We're right behind the glass if you need help."

"Thanks, Beckett." Kevin exited the room with Javier and they entered the Interrogation room. Javier spoke first, "Emily Ryan, why were you on Jefferson Street this morning running away from our _crime scene_?"

"Straight down to business, huh? What, I don't even get a hello from my big brother? I haven't seen him in years." She stared at Kevin as he took a seat next to Javier.

"And whose fault is that?" Kevin said flatly. That wiped the smirk off her face.

"All we want to know is why you were at that warehouse when Vincent Connors was murdered." Kevin slid over a picture of their victim at the crime scene.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Our team spoke to Mr. Connor's' parents and they said he wasn't involved in anything here. He was visiting them for the holiday from North Carolina. And we checked his financials and it was all clean." Javier was sick of her attitude.

"So that makes us think that he just stumbled upon some of your business. Maybe it was an accident, maybe he saw something he shouldn't have. Who knows. But what we do know is that you run with Magnus' crew and that neighborhood is notorious for gangs and drug deals." Kevin finished for his partner.

"Then why don't the cops do something about it, huh?"

"Because of people like you that don't want to help us."

Emily shrugged her shoulders. "Can't help if I don't know."

Kevin chuckled. "You know what I think is funny? That you insist on lying to us when we have you on tape. The real question questions is, when are you going to realize you're trapped and call your lawyer? Usually Magnus is always quick to provide his people with the best defense attorneys."

Emily narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, well you thought wrong."

"I could call Thomas if you'd like. I'm sure he'd be real proud to defend his drug-addicted sister," Kevin said, knowing he'd struck a nerve before she even started yelling.

"And I'm sure he'd be real proud of you, too, _pig_! That's why you left, isn't it" She snarled, leaning forward.

"I didn't leave," Kevin said through clenched teeth, doing his best to remain calm.

"You abandoned me!" She yelled.

"No. You're the one that left, Emily. I was there the whole time, but you didn't bother." Kevin slammed his fist on the table.

"Oh, so it's my fault. Just like it always was." Emily huffed.

"For years I blamed myself. I kept thinking that maybe if I tried a little harder than you wouldn't have lost your way. But you know what I'm finally realizing? That it _was_ your fault. All of this is your fault. _You're_ the one that went looking for a escape. _You're_ the one that got yourself mixed up with drugs. _You're_ the one that told me to go to Hell when I tried to help. _I tried_. When is it your turn?" Kevin was breathing heavy, fury still pumping through his veins.

"Oh, I forgot. You're perfect, Kevin. If only I was more like you then I wouldn't be such a _mess_." Emily rolled her eyes. "Newsflash, Kevin. You're not perfect and you never were. Just ask Dad."

Kevin gritted his teeth. "I know I'm not perfect. Dad hated me when I joined the academy. And I told you to come with me when he kicked me out. But _you refused_ because you knew you wouldn't be able to get your fix living with a cop. I didn't leave- _you stayed_."

Emily backed down and looked down at her cuffed wrists silently.

Kevin's voice softened. "I don't blame you for wanting to get away from home, Emily. I blame you for the route you took." He stood up from his chair. "Sure, our childhood sucked, but it was up to us to change it. That's why I became a cop, to get a better life and to save yours."

"That turned out so well. You deserve a gold star," Emily muttered sarcastically.

Kevin ignored her and walked to the door leading back to the bullpen. Castle was waiting for him when he stepped out. "Javi'll stick her in holding for now. And I'll figure something out. I just need to go clear my head."

"Yeah, sure, buddy. You want some company?" Castle asked softly.

Ryan thought about Castle's offer for a moment before deciding. "No, thanks, I need some time alone right now." He nodded to Castle and then started walking to the elevator. He rode down to the parking garage and went straight to him and Javier's car.

He took a deep breath and fell to the ground, using the car door to lean on. He hung his head in his hands, trying hard to hold back all of his raging emotions.

* * *

Javier came back from the holding cells with a smile on his face. "I've never been so happy to throw someone behind those bars." He looked at Castle and Beckett and noticed Ryan's absence. "Where's Kev?"

"Fresh air," Castle said.

The worry suddenly became clear across Javier's face. He went to go find his partner, but Beckett stopped him. "Did you know about her? Beckett asked with a jerk of her head towards the staircase.

"Not really. I mean, I knew the basics of his shitty family: two brothers who did no wrong, sister who lost her way, dead mother and his father, aka the human embodiment of Satan." Javier ran a hand through his hair. "Man, I knew I shouldn't have let him in there. The whole way down there she was babbling about how Kevin would let me down sooner or later."

"Which is complete crap." Castle crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, but Kevin looked upset so I'm gonna see how he's doing."

Beckett nodded. "And, Espo, we still need to crack her, so let's think of something quick."

"I'll talk to him," Javier promised with a nod before he began walking towards the elevator. He went down to the parking garage knowing his partner would be hiding there. He immediately walked towards their Charger and rounded the hood.

He fell next to Kevin and looked at him with a heavy sigh. "You wanted fresh air, but yet you came to the parking garage to sit on the dirty pavement."

Kevin didn't turn his head. "I didn't think you'd find me."

Javier scoffed. "I'll always find you, Kevin."

Kevin hummed softly and let his head fall to Javier's shoulder. Javier waited for him to say something, but he remained silent. So Javier asked, "Are you okay?"

Kevin nodded, but didn't take his head off Javier's shoulder. "What she said...it stung, but it didn't bother me. I know my family's not proud of what I became, but I do and that's what matters." He sighed. "But she's my little sister. And look at her, she blames me and she thinks I was a crappy older brother. And I can't really disagree with her."

"I don't know a clue of what happened, but I _know you_ and I don't think you would ever just up and abandon your sister."

Kevin lifted his head up to face him and Javier already missed the warmth of Kevin's head on his shoulder. "No, but I could have stopped it before it got out of hand."

"Not even parents can control out of control teenagers, how do expect another teenager to do it?"

"I wasn't a teenager, I was 21-years and she was 18. I was so caught up in trying to pass the academy so I could get us away from that place and start a new life."

"There you go. You weren't just sitting around with your thumbs up your ass, you were trying to save her. She was old enough to be able to keep her life together, Kevin." Javier wished his partner wasn't so stubborn.

"I should have tried harder, but she slowly became more distant until she was with Magnus. When I got on my feet and tried to get her back, she didn't want my my help. I should have tried again even after she said no. And when I could actually hold my own against a gang like Magnus'."

Javier raised his eyebrows. "You tried to take them on _alone_?"

"Not really 'take on'. It was more of just following Emily to their hideout and demanding her to come back with me." Kevin let out a dry chuckle. "They laughed at me and left me with a warning to never come then Emily told me to go to Hell. So I left and never went back to her. I kept an eye on her while I was in Narcotics and when I transferred I had a friend stay on her trail."

"And you did the right thing. If you had stopped yourself just for her, you'd still be dragging out her out of crack-dens." Javier shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe we can convince her that Magnus is bad news. She knows something, we just have to figure how to get it out of her."

Kevin looked up at Javier with a smile. "I think I have an idea."

* * *

Kevin strode through holding and started to tap his hands against Emily's cell bars. "Looks like you're free to go."

Her head snapped up. "What?"

"I forgot to read you your rights." Kevin shrugged his shoulders, watching her panic rising. "We have to let you go."

"No, you did! I know my rights!" She exclaimed as Kevin started to unlock her cell.

"That won't hold up in court and your Constitutional rights were broken." Kevin held out his hand to head her out. "You're innocent, you said. You should be happy you're getting out."

Emily shook her head. "No, you know what they're like, Kevin. Are you really going to hand your little sister to them?"

Kevin didn't hesitate. "You didn't seem to have a problem when it was you throwing me to the animals."

"I'm sorry, Kevin. I was stupid, okay? I was stupid and high." She grabbed Kevin's arm causing Javier to put a hand on his gun. Kevin knew he wouldn't need to draw.

"It's a little late for that. Now come on, we've got a case to solve and we can't continue until you've been dealt with." Kevin started to push her towards the cell door.

"Kevin, please don't make me go!" She tried desperately to plant her feet in the ground. Her begging actually sent a some guilt rushing to Kevin's heart. But he refused to give in to her. Not after what she put him through all those years. So he ignored her and kept pushing her out of the cell.

"Wait! I'll talk!" She finally gave up and Kevin had to hold back his smirk.

Kevin turned to look at her and crossed his arms. "I'm listening."

"If you guys can protect me then I'll tell you everything."

Javier took her from Kevin and scoffed. "You're not running the show here. You tell us what we need to know and we'll see what we can do."

Emily sighed and kept walking alongside Javier. She almost tripped over her footing when she heard her brother say, "See? I knew she'd crack, Javi."

She wiped the surprise off her face to send daggers at him. Kevin smiled in return.

Once back in the Interrogation room, Javier and Kevin were not putting up with Emily's crap anymore. "Okay, Miss Ryan," Javier said, "now how about you stop lying and tell us what you were doing by that warehouse."

Emily fidgeted in her seat but said, "They caught me."

When she didn't elaborate Kevin asked, "Who's 'they'?"

"Magnus and his guys." Emily looked down at her hands. "A few months ago I made a deal with the DA, okay? They wanted help to find some of his guys that were involved selling to a girl that later OD'd. If I was able to get information they asked for, then they'd drop my charges and put me in witness protection."

"You're the rat?" Kevin asked incredulously.

Emily's eyes hardened as she glared at her brother. "And you're the pig."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "Did you get them?"

"Yes," Emily said in exasperation. "I did it without getting caught and they thought I did such a great job that they asked for helping getting some more of them off the street." She sighed. "It was too much and somehow Magnus found out."

"Why didn't you stop when you were done the first time? Your contract was for only the first group of guys." Kevin furrowed his eyebrows.

Emily rolled her eyes. "It was an offer, Kevin. They asked me if I was up for more and I said sure. My life is worth risking if I can keep other kids from ending up like me."

"How does your sudden change of heart tell us why you were with our vic before he died?" Javier brought the conversation back on track. He knew his partner and if Emily kept acting the innocent little sister he once had, Kevin would treat this case differently.

Emily didn't like Javier's clipped tone, but answered him anyway. "They brought me in that warehouse to take me out. We all know gunshots won't attract much attention. That runner dude must have heard the yelling beforehand and walked in. He tried to stop it and Magnus warned him, but the guy wouldn't listen."

Kevin jumped to the conclusion first. "So Magnus was the one that killed him? You saw and can testify." Nobody ever dared to testify against him and with the best lawyers, Magnus always walked.

"If I testify…that's the end. I go in witness protection so they don't kill me."

Kevin nodded his head. "I'm gonna go call the DA and fix your contract." He patter Javier's shoulder expecting him to follow.

"You go ahead, Kev. I'm gonna stay here," Javier said, holding Emily's eye contact. There was something he wanted to say when Kevin wasn't there.

* * *

"So how'd you do?" He said, not looking up from the papers on his desk.

"Uh, Magnus, sir…" The man's hesitation stopped him from working and he he looked up. "We have a minor issue."

"We let her run and I told you to keep an eye on her. Creep her out and make her jumpy before I killed that bitch. How do you find an issue in that?"

"Well, we had our eyes on her...but then these two cops showed up and started chasing her. Looked like she wanted to stay away from them as much as she wants to stay away from us."

"Why didn't you stop them?" Magnus growled, taking a step forward and grabbed the other man's arm.

"I didn't want to get brought in, too. Those cops looked fucking brutal man. One of them even knew her name." He started to back away from his boss.

Magnus stopped and released his grip around his arm. He chuckled softly to himself. "Of course, why didn't I think of that?" He turned back to the shaking man. "The one that knew her name, tell me, what did he look like?"

He swallowed and shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. Pale with brown hair. Freaky blue eyes like your girl's."

"Really is him," Magnus commented with a small smile. "I thought he would have learned from the first time to leave what isn't his alone." He dialed his phone and waited for his call to be answered. "Hey, Ryder, come down here...no, I've got a job that I think you'll enjoy...I want you to find me everything on Bluebird's big brother...yeah, that's him. I want you to bring him over for some _fun_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this next chapter! I know they're a little short right now but I wrote it as one long document and I'm trying to split it up in the right places. 
> 
> Please let me know how you liked it, what you didn't, what you'd like to see. I am so grateful for each and every view and kudos, but comments really make me smile:)
> 
> Until next time,


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is late! I totally forgot and I've so stressed out lately with school and stuff. So this didn't get three read-throughs so i hope there aren't too many mistakes. It's late and I'm exhausted, but I wanted to get this up.

" _Kevin! Guess what! Guess what! Guess what!" Emily came barging into Kevin's room. He looked up from his textbook to watch his 16-year old sister dance around his room._

_He smiled. "What?"_

" _You have to guess!" She sang as she fell back on Kevin's bed._

_Kevin rolled his eyes. "I don't know, just tell me, squirt."_

_Emily must have had the happiest news because she didn't even cringe at the nickname. "_ He asked me _!"_

_Kevin's eyes widened. "He asked you?"_

_Emily nodded and looked over at her brother. "He asked me after homeroom and I said yes! Can you believe it? I'm going to prom with Cory Sanford!"_

_Kevin paused. "Prom? As in the senior prom this Saturday?"_

_Emily groaned. She knew what was coming. "Kevin, don't you dare start. I know I'm only a junior, but it's only a few months of an age gap. And he's so sweet! I promise."_

_Kevin eyed her for a moment before sighing. "Fine."_

_She squealed and jumped slightly. "Thank you so much, Kevvie!"_

_Kevin ignored that name and said, "So the dance is this weekend. When do you want to go out for a dress?"_

_Emily's eyes widened. "A dress? Kevin, I can't afford a new dress. I was just going to wear that dress that I wore at Aunt Karen's wedding."_

Kevin made a face. "You can't wear an old dress to prom, Emma."

" _What do you know about prom? You didn't even go to yours."_

_Kevin stuck his tongue out at her and she did it right back. He smiled. "But seriously, I'll drive you to the store after school tomorrow."_

" _Kevin, dresses cost money."_

" _I'll ask Dad, don't worry."_

_Emily shook her head. "No, Kevin, it's fine. I don't need a new dress."_

_Kevin raised his eyebrows. "You're my little sister and you're going to your prom feeling like a princess no matter what. I'll handle the money, okay?"_

_Emily hesitated but smiled. "Okay, tomorrow after school. Thanks, Kev."_

_Kevin never did ask their dad for the money he knew he'd say no. It turned out those years of saving every penny and nickel was worth it. When she stepped out of that dressing room wearing a pink ball gown, Kevin knew he'd go broke just to keep that smile on her face._

_And on Saturday when he drove her to Cory's house and she stepped out of the car looking like a princess with her hair curled and her make-up perfect, he knew he had made the right choice._

" _Hurt her and I'll kick your ass," Kevin warned as he shook Cory's hand. It was his job to be the protective older annoying brother._

 _And as he watched Cory walk her down the walk and to the car, Kevin couldn't help feel part of his heart shatter. He knew he was supposed to want her to grow up and be happy, but he couldn't help but feel like she was one step closer to leaving him. And it hurt Kevin that he was the one feeling like that. He shouldn't have been one to give her away that night. It should have been her Dad, but of all her years, Kevin was the only_ dad _she knew._

_Just before she got to the car, she stopped short and ran back to Kevin. She reached on her tippy-toes to place a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you so much, Kevin."_

_He dared to wrinkle her dress by pulling her close into a hug. "You're welcome, squirt."_

* * *

"You may think you have Kevin in the palm of your hand." Javier shrugged his shoulders. "And maybe you do. But don't expect me to go along believing that you're Miss Perfect."

Emily narrowed her eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Javier wasn't buying a word that came out of her mouth. "You had your chance to be his little sister. He never talked about you much, but I know you blew your chance."

Emily grit her teeth. "I made a mistake. I was a kid."

Javier leaned closer. "Judging by your rap sheet, you've made more than one mistake."

"Kevin will forgive me. I know I hurt him, but I'm trying to make things right."

"I know Kevin will forgive you. Because you're his little sister and because that's just the kind of person he is." Javier's tone hardened. "But Kevin is my partner, my best friend and I'm going to watch his back. You're trouble, I can tell. Know that I'll be right by his side the whole time and I don't care who you are. You mean nothing to me unless you mean something to Kevin. So don't even think about hurting-."

"Hey, guys, the DA said if we get Magnus on murder then, Emily, you've got your spot in Witness Protection." Kevin interrupted them as he walked back into the interrogation room. "So we'll have our guys bring him in tomorrow morning and charge him. Hopefully, he'll be easy to get."

Javier gave Emily a warning look not to say anything before turning to Kevin. "Sounds good to me, bro."

"Kev, where am I staying until we get him off the street? Because I can guarantee you that he's going to be hard to find. Even his men will be scarce." She subconsciously tugged on her handcuffs. "Shipments come in every other **Thursday** , so they're restocking in a few days. With hardly anything left to sell, they're laying low."

"We can work out something tomorrow. Either send in an undercover to buy something or maybe your buddy from Narco knows something," Javier said, standing up next to his partner. They excused themselves from the room to privately discuss what they planned on doing with Emily.

"We can leave her in holding for the night."

Kevin raised his eyebrows. "We're not leaving my little sister overnight in a holding cell."

"What do you want us to do with her, then? Bring her home with us?" Javier asked incredulously.

Kevin shrugged his shoulders but remained silent.

Javier sighed. He didn't want to bring her home, but he could understand his boyfriend's point of view. He knew he wouldn't be able to say no to him. "I don't think that it's a good idea letting her in, Kevin. I mean , I know she's your sister and all, but she's not the same person you once knew."

Kevin smiled sadly. "Javi, she hasn't been the same since high school...but once we find Magnus and Emily testifies against him, then she's off to Witness Protection and I won't see her again. And I can't forgive her for everything she'd done to me, but I'd like one last chance to at least talk with her. She'll always be my little sister."

Javier grabbed his Kevin's hand and squeezed it softly. "Okay, I understand." Javier definitely wasn't going to be the one to split Kevin from his sister when soon she'd be gone. No matter what she did in the past. He'd just have to keep an eye on her and make sure she never hurt him again.

* * *

"So, where are we going?" Emily asked from the backseat of their Charger.

"Our place," Javier said, without taking his eyes off the road.

"What are you guys? Roommates? Does the NYPD really pay you that bad that you can't afford your own rent?" She laughed.

Javier and Kevin both exchanged hesitant glances; they hadn't planned on telling Emily they were together. "Uh, yeah, you can say that."

When they got home, their plan was ruined as Emily spotted a framed picture of the two sharing a kiss at one of Castle's summer parties in the Hamptons. She smirked and picked the picture up. "So _that's_ how it is."

Javier immediately grabbed the picture frame from her hand. "Yes, that's how it is. Do you have a problem?"

"No, just surprised is all." She shrugged her shoulders, looking around the apartment. "Though it was obvious in retrospect."

Javier watched as her gaze landed on another picture showing off their shared affection. "Yeah, well, don't touch anything. I'm gonna make us dinner."

"Really?" Emily let out a low chuckle. "I expected Kevin to be the housewife."

"No. You don't get to do that," Kevin said. "Don't act like you know me and don't start teasing me like my little sister used to."

Javier watched from the side and he saw a flash of regret pass through Emily's eyes. "You're right. I apologize," she snapped. "I'm just going to go take a shower so I'm not in your way."

Kevin turned away from her, but answered in a much softer voice, "Clean towels are in the closet next to the bathroom down the hall. And I'll grab you a pair of sweats and t-shirt you can wear." He led her down the hall and stopped by his and Javi's bedroom to grab the change of clothes for her and then showed her to the bathroom.

When he returned to the kitchen, Javier was already shaping beef into patties for dinner. Kevin sighed softly and started to set the table. "Sometimes I think about what having her as a sister would be like. She was a great kid that needed help I couldn't give her."

"Just like you said, use this time to make up for those lost years." Javier gave him a soft smile.

Kevin placed the three plates on the table "But I don't want to get close, only to lose her all over again."

"I get you're mad. Hell, I'm mad and she's not even my sister. But, you've spent so much time being angry...now's your chance to make things right. You be good cop, I'll be bad cop." Esposito said with a grin.

Kevin smiled at his partner. "Yeah, you're right."

"'Course I am," Javier agreed with a smirk. "Now how about you start helping me with chopping up the lettuce and tomato." Kevin rolled his eyes but helped prepare the dinner anyway.

Just as they were finishing, Emily walked back in now freshly showered. She took a seat as Javier began putting the burgers on their plates.

Kevin watched her take a seat hesitantly. With her hair wet against her head and the way she was hunched over, she made herself look much smaller than she was. Now she didn't have the tough, smart-ass facade and Kevin could see his little sister stuck inside the drug ruined shell of a body.

"Dig in," Javier said once he sat down, but Emily didn't move.

Kevin picked up his burger and dressed it in mayo and ketchup before topping it off with lettuce and tomato. Once he finished, he looked to his sister. "You can eat."

She looked down at her burger with wide eyes and if she opened her mouth, it wouldn't be surprising if she drooled all over it. Then, quickly, she grabbed the burger and without putting any condiments on it, she took a large bite. When her teeth sunk into the burger, her eyes rolled back and she moaned. "Man, I haven't had a meal like this in days."

Javier's eyebrows furrowed. "It's just a burger," he said as they watched her devour the burger. She was finished before Kevin took a second bite.

Kevin hoped now that she was away from Magnus and his goons, she would start eating right again and gain some weight so she didn't look like a skeleton anymore. He wordlessly pushed his plate over to her. He could tell she was about to refuse it, so he said, "You need it."

Javier cut his burger in half to give it to Kevin, but he shook his head. Javier ignored him and handed it to him anyway. "Yeah, you make Kev look like the PiIlsbury Dough Boy."

"If I wasn't, you'd have nothing to pinch," Kevin quipped as he stood up to collect the empty dishes. "Once you're finished, Em, I'll show you to our bedroom."

"No, I don't want to take your room. Where will you two sleep?"

"We'll sleep on the couch."

"No, I'll take the couch. There's one of me and two of you." Emily shook her head as she finished off the last of the tomato slices in the bowl.

"I don't think so," Javier scoffed. "The front door is in the living room."

Emily narrowed her eyes at him. "Why would I run away? I told you they're looking for me."

Javier rolled his eyes. "And I'm supposed to believe everything you say? I wouldn't believe you right now if you told me we had burgers for dinner."

Emily glared at Javier for a moment before turning her gaze downwards to her empty plate with a grumble.

"Hey, Kev," Javier said, coming up behind his boyfriend as he washed the dishes. Javier wrapped his arms around his waist. "How about you go get her settled and I'll finish cleaning after dinner." He kissed the shell of his ear softly.

Kevin smiled, shutting the sink off. "What's the matter, Javi? Is she too much for you?"

"Ha ha," Javier said sarcastically. He moved aside to switch places with Kevin. "Just go before you sleep on the floor tonight." Javier waited for Kevin to start following Emily down the hall before he slapped him on the ass and let out a low whistle.

Kevin turned his head quickly to glare at Javier. Javier smiled when he saw the soft blush on his cheeks. Kevin turned back to Emily and was glad she didn't notice. He cleared his throat and said, "We just cleaned the sheets the other day, so they should be okay to sleep on."

"I'm okay," she whispered as she sat down slowly on the bed. Kevin nodded his head and stood awkwardly by the foot of the bed. Emily was silent for a moment until she asked softly, "He really loves you, huh?" She paused before continuing, "He doesn't like me very much."

"He's just protective."

"I know." She gave an empty chuckle. "I'm glad you have someone."

"He was there for me when no one else was," Kevin says softly, looking down at her.

When Emily spoke, he could hear her trying to keep her voice steady. "I'm sorry, Kevin. God, I was so stupid."

Kevin looked down at his feet with a humorless laugh, "You're sorry? Sorry doesn't take back what you've done. Sorry doesn't bring back my sister."

"I've made mistakes. But I'm coming for help and though it may mean nothing...my biggest regret is turning it down in the first place."

Kevin scoffed, looking back up. "You're a few years late."

"I'm sorry," she said softly, but there was a hint of desperation. She turned her head to stare at the wall. A sudden shift in the mattress made her turn back around to face Kevin who was now sitting next to her.

He placed a gentle hand on her knee took a deep breath and said, "I may not be proud of how you chose to live...but I still love you and I always have."

She dropped her head to his shoulder. "No matter what Dad ever said, you were always a great big brother."

Kevin wrapped an arm around her waist with a gentle squeeze and kissed the top of her head. "And you're still my still my little girl."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all enjoying my story!! Let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> Until next time,


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't updated anything in a while. I've been really stressed out lately and haven't gotten around to writing. Which sucks, but there's not much to do. And I even have this fic finished, but I'm still rereading it and polishing it all up for you. I'm sorry if I'm so behind and barely update. Hee's a little Thanksgiving present (since this is a Thanksgiving fic and I planned to have it done by now...)

" _Emily?" Kevin asked, coming closer to her on his bed. "Are you...drunk?"_

_She shrugged her shoulders with a wide smile. "Maybe."_

_He frowned at her. She was supposed to be on a date with Brad, not drinking her weight in alcohol. "What happened?" He asked, handing her a half full water bottle that was on his desk._

_She took a long sip before answering him. "Dick face broke up with me."_

_Kevin blinked. "What?" The last time he had seen Emily and Brad together they looked so happy. What could have changed?_

" _Was just dating me so he could sleep with me." She glared down at the water bottle, her smile gone now. "I said no and he said goodbye."_

_Kevin narrowed his eyes angrily. Angry at his sister for getting drunk over some loser, angry at whoever gave an 18-year-old girl alcohol, but mostly angry at Brad for treating his sister like this. The next time he saw him, he was going to kill him._

" _You should have come to me." Kevin tried not to sound too mad._

" _Nothing bad," she mumbled. "Just little to feel better."_

_Kevin sighed softly. He knew there was no way he was going to get through to her tonight so he might as well let her get some sleep. He'd of course have to keep an eye on her during the night so she didn't choke on her own thrown up in case she did vomit._

_He couldn't let her fall any lower than tonight. He was supposed to be her big brother and always keep an eye out for her. If he didn't, he'd never forgive himself._

* * *

"How is she?" Javier asked as Kevin climbed on the couch with him.

"She's sorry and I love her, but I don't think I'm ready to forgive her yet." Kevin leaned into Javier's arms.

"That's okay," Javier assured him, rubbing his boyfriend's back.

Kevin squished himself between Javier's back and the back of the couch. Javier grunted slightly. "You know, babe, we do have a perfectly comfortable chair only three feet away."

Kevin pulled himself closer to Javier. "But, I want to sleep with you."

Javier couldn't say no to that, so he just smiled. "Just don't kick me off."

Kevin's body shook against Javier's as he laughed. "I'll try not to." Kevin closed his eyes and settled close to him. Javier began to rub his back softly and lulled Kevin to sleep.

Before he knew it, he was being woken up by the ringing of his cell phone. Kevin groaned and reached blindly towards the coffee table where his phone was illuminating the room. Carefully and grudgingly, he pulled himself up and off the couch. He made sure Javier was still sleeping before he walked into the kitchen.

He looked down at his phone and frowned when he read 'blocked number' displayed on the screen. Curiously, Kevin answered the phone and brought it to his ear. "Hello?"

" _Officer Kevin Ryan, long time no see."_

Kevin's heart started to beat faster, but he kept his voice steady, "Detective," he corrected. "And who's this?"

There was a chuckle. " _You don't remember me? I thought I had made quite the impression on you, Kev."_

Kevin's blood ran cold as he recognized that voice. A voice he had hoped to never hear again. "How did you get my number?"

" _The 12th received a phone call from 1PP asking how to reach Kevin Ryan off-duty."_ He sounded so pleased with himself. "They were very compliant."

"What do you want?" Kevin growled as his hand curled into a fist at his side.

"You took something that belongs to me and I want it back. But that's not why I'm calling."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kevin tried to lie, but he knew the man on the other end would see right through it.

" _I'm about to give you an address...if you're not there in a half hour, this morning there will be a little accident at your precinct. You wouldn't want your friends to die because of you, would you?"_

Kevin swallowed thickly and ran a hand nervously through his hair. "Okay, okay. Where do you want to meet?"

" _Oh, I won't be meeting with you. I'm having you picked up."_

Kevin narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

" _Your bitch sister needs to learn her lesson one way or another."_

Kevin''s grip tightened on his cell phone until his knuckles were white. "Don't you even think about touching her, scumbag."

" _Corner of 35th and Kennedy."_ With one last haughty laugh, he hung up the phone.

For a moment, Kevin stood still in the kitchen. He knew what was going to happen if he went. But, he also knew what was going to happen if he didn't. There was no way he was going to let anyone in the 12th get hurt- _or worse_ \- because of him. And if he was with the son of a bitch, there was no way he could hurt Emily without his knowing.

Without another thought, Kevin hurried over to the closet by the door and unlocked the safe to pull out one of their off duty weapons. He also made sure to grab a post-it and a pen to scribble a quick note to Javier and left it on the fridge door.

As he passed by the couch one last time, he quietly bent over Javier and placed a soft kiss to his lips. "I love you, Javi." He stayed like that for a moment before he finally pulled back, careful not to wake Javier. This wasn't his fight and Kevin was no in hell going to drag him into it.

He exited the apartment without looking back, afraid if he did he wouldn't leave.

Once he was outside of the building, he wrapped his arms around himself wishing he had remembered to grab a coat before running out. His sweats and t-shirt did little to shield him from the November chill.

Around him, there were still cabs on the street and he passed by other people walking despite it being three in the morning. After all, it was the city that never slept. But, he didn't dare to hail a cab; he'd take the walk. The longer it took him to reach his roudenvue, the longer he had before before he was forced into Magnus' hell.

So he walked for a few blocks and just as the cold started to make his nose numb, he reached the meet-up. He made his way to a rundown bodega and waited under its awning.

He was only standing there for a brief second before he heard someone chuckle behind him. "So nice of you to join us."

And then a sudden blinding pain to the back of his head led Kevin into darkness.

* * *

Javier realized how much room he had on the couch the second he was awake. Usually Kevin leeched onto him during the night and refused to let go until either morning coffee or morning sex was promised.

He pushed himself up, but didn't see Kevin sleeping on the arm chair either. And there was no smell of coffee or breakfast wafting in the air. So why was Kevin up?

"Kevin?" He called softly. There was no answer.

Javier felt a tinge of worry in his gut, but he brushed it off. Just because Kevin usually slept in didn't mean he wasn't awake early today. He was probably just in the bathroom.

He stood up trying to distract himself, so he made his way into the kitchen and was about to start the coffee maker when Emily walked in. She didn't look happy to see him, but the feeling was mutual. "Where's Kevin?"

Javier was about to ask her to go knock on the bathroom door, but a yellow note on the fridge caught his eye. He picked it up and read the words out loud, "Javi- I ran to get milk. Love you."

Emily sat down at the table, yawning loudly. "Already? It's only like 7. Is he always up this early?"

No. Kevin was never up on his own. Especially this early. And Javier had just bought milk yesterday. He quickly opened the fridge door and saw the almost untouched carton of milk sitting on the front shelf.

There was no way someone could have forced him out of the apartment- Javier would have heard the struggling. And why take Kevin, but leave him and Emily? "This is his handwriting…"

Emily looked up. "What, you think someone _took_ him?"

Javier felt his heart racing. "None of this makes sense," he said more to himself. He rushed back into the living room and grabbed his cell phone. In a quick second he had Kevin's name lighting up his screen after he clicked the speed dial 1. Javier cursed when it went straight to voicemail.

"What were you doing?" Emily stood up with a hate filled glare. "You were the one with him! How could you let something happen to him?"

Javier threw his phone to the ground, ignoring it as the screen most likely shattered. He whirled around to face Emily. "How could _I_? Don't you dare blame _me_ for this. If it weren't for you, I'd still be in bed with him!"

"Oh, but you're okay with blaming me?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"You said it, not me." Javier growled.

The room went silent and the two held each other's hate filled gazes. Javier turned away first, his worry outweighing his anger. "As much as I'd love to sit here and list why I should blame you, that won't help me find him." He side stepped around Emily and went down the hall.

"Kevin?" He called even though he knew there'd be no answer. He looked in every doorway calling his lover's name. "Kevin!" Each cry grew more frantic until he came to their bedroom. He leaned heavily against the doorframe and felt his heart twist. He should be there. He should be lying in bed, sheets tangled around his waist being the only thing blocking Javier's sight of anything naughty. He should be there snoring softly as the morning sunlight broke through their blinds and danced on his freckle dusted back. He should be _there_.

Javier squeezed his eyes shut and let out a pained gasp before turning away. He couldn't stand to look at it anymore.

"Maybe he's just out," Emily said once he made his way back into the living room.

"No, no, no." Javier started shaking his head. "During a case like this he wouldn't just leave without telling me. Something's wrong." _Not that she would know_ , Javier thought bitterly to himself.

He picked his phone back off the floor and swiped his hand at the broken screen to brush off any loose shards of glass. It was still usable though so Javier unlocked it and scrolled through his contacts.

"Who are you calling?" Emily asked, coming closer. "Are you trying Kevin again?"

"No. I'm seeing if Castle and Beckett know anything." Emily nodded and Javier assumed she remembered they were their partners.

" _Hey, Es-."_

Javier cut off Castle's greeting quickly. "Castle, is Kevin with you?"

Castle must sense the panic in Javier's voice. His voice is full of concern when he answered, " _No, why?"_ Then he added in a whisper to whom Javier assumed was Beckett, " _He's looking for Ryan."_

"He's not here. He left a note -he always leaves a note- but, he can't be getting milk because we have a full carton. And he wouldn't leave like this unless he was doing something stupid and-."

" _Woah, calm down, Javier,"_ Castle soothed over the phone, but it didn't do much to help. Only Kevin could help him now, damnit. " _Why don't you give him a few minutes to get back-."_

"Something's wrong, Castle!" Javier shouted. Why would no one listen to him? "You know Kevin and this isn't him."

"Yeah, I know…" Castle sighed and paused for a moment. "Beckett said to meet us at the 12th. We can make more sense of this and if Kevin really is just out, he'll call."

"I tried calling, it went straight to voicemail. It's either dead or..." Javier didn't finish that thought. He felt like he was breaking down more and more as the minutes passed.

" _We'll trace it, then. We're on our way. See you in a few."_ Javier was about to hang up when he heard Castle say in a soft voice, "Hey, Espo, don't worry, we'll find him."

Javier choked out, "I know," before he was running off to his room to get dressed. He wanted to find Kevin. _Now._

* * *

The minute he reached his desk after striding out of the elevator, he booted up his computer. Emily followed behind him and watched him wait patiently for his desktop to load. When the program was finally running, Javier punched in 10 familiar numbers.

Beckett and Castle came up to him with matching looks of concern a few minutes later. "You still haven't heard from him yet?" Castle asked.

"No, but I'm going to kill him when I find him." He glared at the screen as Kevin's (or at least his cell phone's) location loaded.

A silence fell upon the group as they watched Javier's computer slowly pinpoint the coordinates. When it finally appeared, Javier frowned. "That can't be right."

"Maybe he left his phone home or he's just getting home." Castle picked up on Javier's rising panic.

"Except the location isn't moving." Javier grabbed his keys off his desk. "I'm going back home."

"We're coming with you." Beckett didn't even wait for Javier to argue before she said, "This could easily be a trap. I don't need you disappearing, too."

* * *

Kevin slowly came back into consciousness and unfortunately so did the throbbing of his head. He knew he was in trouble and part of him wanted to stay in his unconscious, but he knew it would be dangerous to sleep around the men that had kidnapped him.

He had enough experience in Narcotics to be able to tell where he was by the smell alone. The stale air and the stink of sweat, sex and smoke mixed with other things was enough to tell him he was in a crack house.

He had spent many of times undercover in places like this and even being on the right side, he hated it. Now that he was the enemy, he didn't even want to think of what was coming ahead.

His head was hanging with his chin touching his chest, so the other people in the room that he heard wouldn't be able to see him peek his eyes open. He blinked a few times to adjust to the dim lights around him and realized why he was feeling so cold.

He was stripped down to his boxer shorts and tied to a chair by his wrists and ankles.

The chair looked old and one more kick from falling apart. Even the seat under his butt was covered in blood, urine and other suspicious stains.

The only other thing they let him keep on his body was his gold shield. It was hanging around his neck by the chain like Javier always wore it.

He tugged on his bindings, but the rope only harshly dug into his skin.

Then there was a sudden booming laugh and the room went silent. "Look who's awake."

Cursing under his breath, Kevin lifted his head up and fought the stiffness in his neck to face the owner of the voice. Kevin narrowed his eyes and did his best not to look intimidated.

From the corner of his eyes, Kevin could tell this room was a main room for the gang. A lot of foot traffic traveled through daily and each one of them walked through here at least once a day. Whether they sat down to stay a while or were just passing by.

There was a small card table being used for poker in the back corner by a few men. There was another man sifting through baggies of drugs, looking a little high himself. The last man that was sitting on a couch with a half naked woman on either side of him leered at Kevin and he knew that was the man that spoke.

Kevin glared at him. He recognized him from years ago as Magnus' second in command. His name was Hahn. Kevin guessed he was still as powerful.

"It's so good to see you again." Hahn pushed the girls off him and said, "Go wait in my room." They grabbed their shirts off the floor and scurried away.

"Did you brainwash those girls, too?" Kevin growled.

Hahn let out a loud laugh. "You're just as much of a smartass as you were all those years ago, huh?" He smirked. "Good. Magnus likes it when his toys snap back a bit. Speaking of the boss-man, I think it's time we let him know you're awake." He turned to the car game, "Jackie, go tell-."

"That won't be necessary, Hahn. I ran into the girls and they let me know our guest was awake."

Kevin felt rage and hatred fill his blood when he heard the voice that belonged to the man that ruined his sister's life. His fingers gripped the armrest tightly. There were slow and steady footsteps that stopped behind his chair. "It really has been a while." Then there was a hand on his shoulder as he slowly walked in front of him.

"Get away from me, bastard," Kevin growled.

"You still think you can tell me what to do? Didn't you learn the first time you came around?" He scoffed. "From what I remember, you vowed to kill each and last one of us. So fucking cocky." Hahn stood up crossing his arms with a smirk. "But now look at him."

And then it dawned on Kevin why they had tied to a chair in the center of the room only wearing his underwear. Humiliation. They were humiliating Kevin in front of every member of the gang that he had promised to take down. He hated when he felt the blood rush to his cheeks.

"What's a matter, little piggy?" Hahn sneered. "Not so tough anymore, huh?"

"What do you want from me?" Kevin asked coldly.

Magnus pushed Hahn out of the way before he could taunt their captive again. "Right down to business, I see. Well, you have something of mine and I want it back."

Kevin shrugged his shoulders. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Magnus leaned up into Kevin's face. "Listen to me very closely. We both know you are in a very bad situation. I could hurt you. I could tear you apart and stitch you back together just to do it all over again."

Kevin didn't say a word. He knew Magnus probably could and would do all of that- and worse.

"But I don't want to just hurt you- just yet. So I'm here to make you a deal."

"I don't want anything from you."

Magnus ignored him. "I'll give you until tomorrow morning- just under 24 hours -to tell me where your bitch sister is and to drop this case you're on. If you do, I'll let you go, no harm done." His voice turned cold. 'But if you don't, you can't even imagine what I'll put you through."

Memories of Lockwood flashed in Kevin's mind.

" _You tell me what I need to know one pro to another and I will put a bullet in your brain. You don't, you jerk me around, then you will be begging me to before this night is up."_

_Kevin stared up at the assassin and knew he wasn't lying by the coldness in his eyes. Kevin gulped, fearing he would give in to him, but he looked over to his partner and he calmed. All he needed was to know that Javier was right by his side and he could get through this. Together they were unstoppable._

" _I'm gonna have to go with option B." Javier said firmly._

_Kevin exchanged one last look with Javier before looking up into Lockwood's icy blue eyes. "Oh yeah, we're definitely gonna jerk you around."_

This night was no different than then. Same song, different dance. If Kevin could be strong with Javier by his side, he'd be strong even when he stood alone. "Give me your best."

Magnus' hand shot out and he grabbed Kevin's shoulder hard enough to leave bruises. He tilted the chair backwards and leaned in close. "Trust me, sweetheart, I will." His grip tightened and Kevin held back a wince. "Do you know how long all of us have waited to wipe that fucking grin off your face?" He let go of the chair and it slammed back to its four legs.

Turning around, he called to the men that had gathered, "Boys, no one lays a hand on him until tomorrow morning. Then you can touch him all you want." Before exiting the room, he turned to Hahn and ordered him to keep an eye on him.

"My pleasure, boss." Hahn stepped forward, leering down at Kevin again.

" _Your boss_ said no touching. Or is your caveman brain too small to comprehend the concept of self control?"

Hanh didn't go to make another come back at Kevin's wisecrack. Instead he made a wet and disgusting sound of collecting the mucus from the back of his throat. With a smirk, he spit it down on Kevin's face and his dirty wad of saliva landed just under his eye.

"You got something on your face, pig." Hahn laughed before falling back to his seat on the couch.

Kevin scrunched his face up wishing he could wipe it off. But he knew he wouldn't be able to get it off with his hands tied so he'd have to wait for it to drip off or for someone to wipe it off.

Once seated, Hahn took out a cigarette and lit it. He took a long drag and then blew the smoke directly into Kevin's face. He smiled and said, "We are going to have a lot of fun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this and hopefully I'll have more soon if I don't die under all this stress. 
> 
> Until next time,


	6. Chapter 6

****

They had found Kevin's phone with one new voicemail. Hesitantly, Javier played the message and listened to a voice, "Give her to me and you'll get him back." When they returned to the precinct, they immediately traced the number of the call.

"It's a burner cell, but it's off." Javier sighed as he read his results to Beckett.

Castle groaned. "Emily said she recognized the voice, one of Magnus' goons. Why don't we start there?"

"I don't know where they are." Emily pointed out from her seat next to Javier.

"But you know where their hideouts are," Castle challenged, desperate to find Kevin like the rest of them.

"They're not gonna hide him where I would be able to find him."

"Why not?" Beckett asked. "They want you and figured if we really want him back, we'd try to sneak in and get in and get him out."

"So you want to send me into a trap?" Emily's eyes widened. "You know they'll kill me."

Javier turned angrily to her. "If it means getting my partner back then yes!"

Emily narrowed her eyes. "And when you got him back, how do you think he'd react when you told him that you gave up his sister for him."

"Stop playing the little sister card. You're not a kid, you're an adult. And you screwed up your own life. You deserve to be with them. Not Kevin," Javier said angrily.

"How is this my fault? He's the one that voluntarily left. You read his note!"

Javier jabbed his finger at her. "Anything that happens to him will by _your_ fault. If he gets hurt, it's because of you! So you better stay the hell away from me because I won't hesitate to throw you to them."

"We may not need to do that," a new voice came into the conversation.

Javier turned around to see a man standing behind them. "And you are?"

"James Swain from Narcotics. I'm an old friend of Ryan's. And by the sound of it, you're his partner." Swain stepped closer with one hand held out and Javier shook it firmly.

"You got a way to get him back?"

Swain nodded. "I've got a plan. It's going to take some time, but if we play our cards right, everything will be fine. "

"I'm listening."

"Well," Swain continued, "My guys have been getting close with the other dealers and gangs around. I just got some word earlier this morning of Magnus gloating about getting himself a pig." He shook his head in disgust. "He is the most powerful in his area and getting a cop just gives him more reason to be better than the others."

"And you're sure he has Kevin?" Javier asked, even though he knew the answer.

"All I know is it's a cop he's got history with and he's been waiting for this for a long time."

"That's Kevin," Emily said softly causing everyone to look at her. She sighed heavily. "You know we don't get along now...but we used to be the best of friends. I blamed him, but I'm the one that pushed him away."

Javier mumbled something under his breath and Beckett shoved his shoulder.

"It really all went downhill the night that Kevin graduated from the Academy. He asked me to go, to leave Magnus and come with him. But I didn't and he came looking for me…"

" _Magnus, sir, there's someone here asking for your girl."_

_Magnus took his lips off of Emily's ear and he raised his eyebrows. "Do I know him?"_

" _Claims to be her brother." He nodded towards Emily, who was too high to follow the conversation. Magnus stood up and she followed._

" _Why don't we go see what he wants then."_

" _Wait, sir, there's one more thing you should know," he hesitated nervously._

_Magnus groaned impatiently. "Get on with it."_

" _He's, uh, he's a cop."_

_Magnus paused before he smiled widely. "Then let's go see what we can do for New York's Finest."_

_They walked out into the main room where a young man in an NYPD uniform was standing. He was being held back by two taller men._

" _How can I help you, officer?" Magnus put a smile on his face._

_The officer's head shot to him and the woman on his arm. Magnus knew this was her brother because they both had the same intense blue eyes, hers only shades lighter._

" _Let me and my sister go." The officer growled through his teeth._

 _Magnus stepped closer and read the tag under his shield. "Well, Officer Ryan, I'm sorry, but_ she _came to me and I am in no way holding against her will."_

" _You've been filling her head with your crap for a year._ Let her go _." Ryan jerked against the men holding him._

_Magnus chuckled. "I'll tell you what, Officer. I'll give her a choice. She is an adult after all."_

" _Or how about I just arrest you all now?" Ryan smirked._

_Magnus' smile disappeared. "Who do you think you are, boy? You are nothing. You will never be able to take us down because we are much stronger than a kid like you."_

" _No matter what you think, I will not stop until I have my sister back and you're all dead for what you did to her." Ryan growled._

_Magnus laughed loudly. "Hear that, Hahn? He's going to kill us."_

" _I don't like nobody threatening us." Hahn's grip grip on Ryan tightened._

" _Do you know what we do to people who think they can walk all over us? Magnus sneered, but before Ryan could answer, Hahn shoved him down to the ground. "We make sure they have no chance of winning." Hahn said before kicking Ryan in the ribs._

_Emily and Magnus watched as the two goons beat Ryan up. Ryan wasn't thoroughly skilled in self defense, but he did have the common sense to protect his vital organs._

" _Don't hurt him," Emily mumbled as Hahn continued to bruise Ryan._

_Magnus wrapped a comforting arm around her. "He's trying to take you away. He won't be able to give you what you want to be happy."_

_Emily twitched in his arms, caught between two tough decisions; give up her brother or give up what her life now revolved around._

" _He doesn't want you to feel happy. He thinks you're broken. It's his job to arrest and_ kill _people like us." He looked straight into her bloodshot eyes. "We've been by your side for years. Who's your real family? Who are you going to protect?"_

_Ryan looked up between kicks and begged his sister, "Please, Emily, I can help you."_

" _Hear that," Magnus whispered in in her ear. "He thinks you need help."_

_Emily's demuner immediately changed and she narrowed her eyes at her brother. "I don't need your help!"_

" _Emily, I-."_

" _Go to hell, Kevin."_

_Ryan puttered in surprise. "Em, wha-?"_

" _You heard her." Hahn snarked. He lifted Ryan up by his hair and dragged him towards the front door. Just before Ryan was thrown to into the street, bleeding and bruised, Magnus warned him, "The next time I see you, I will kill you. That's a promise."_

"So, this is all your fault. The whole time, you blamed Kevin for leaving you." Javier yelled when she finished her story." I can't believe you'd have the nerve to blame him."

Before a fight could start, Beckett cut in. "Look, what's done is done, okay? The only thing we can do now is find Ryan."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Emily knows where they're hiding! Why don't we burst in, guns blazing and get my partner back?"

"We can't just barge in, Esposito. Ryan will be dead before we even find him."

Emily sighed. "The writer's right. We're not gonna get him back unless Magnus wants us to."

"Then you are underestimating the NYPD because it's going to take some work, but we're getting him back." Swain waved sheets of paper in his hand.

"He doesn't have much time, so let's hurry up," Beckett said, beckoning him over.

"I'm going to send in one of my guys undercover to secure him and then others will storm in and we'll take them all down. Since you guys are closer to him, I knew I should let you in the inside."

Javier was staring at the paper in Swain's hand. "What do you have planned?"

Swain spread the papers on Ryan's desk. Esposito made a mental note to fix what was out of place before his boyfriend came back; he wouldn't like his sytem ruined.

"These are are papers listing Magnus crew and the background my guy will learn for his cover," Swain explained.

"Let me do it," Esposito said immediately.

"Listen, man, I know Ryan is important to you-."

"No, you don't know. Kevin is my _everything_. He dies, I die." Esposito jabbed his finger at the papers. "Whoever does this, if they make one mistake they blow it all and Kevin is dead. So I don't trust anyone for this other than _me_."

James looked conflicted. "Have you ever had any experience working undercover before?"

"Some, I mean, I'm a cop."

"My men have more training in this field. They'll do fine and you don't have anything to worry about," James tried convincing Javier, although he knew it would be impossible.

"As much as I hate to say it, Esposito has a point," Emily said. "You guys have never been in the room for his punishments and what they do. Especially to someone like Kevin." She shook her head. "By the time we get to him...he's going to need someone he knows and trust to hold onto."

Javier didn't look too happy at the choice, but no one knew the gang like Emily. "Okay, fine, but we have to get to work right away."

"How long until we go get him?" Castle asked.

"With a job like this, we can never be too careful, so I'd say Tuesday night." Swain nodded.

Javier raised his eyebrows. "That's three days."

Swain sighed heavily. "Well, I still need to set everything up so you don't look like you're lying about your background and I can only talk with Magnus tomorrow. You still need to study _everything_ so that'll take those first two days."

Javier wasn't happy, but he understood. As much as he wanted to get Kevin back as soon as possible they needed a safe, well thought out plan.

"How are we getting him back?" Castle asked, knowing it wasn't going to be easy.

"Tomorrow I'm meeting up with Magnus. I'll ask him to do me a favor in exchange for extra goods, whatever appeals to him." He pointed to Javier. "Esposito will be my newest recruit that I'm looking to train, so naturally I'll ask the best in business to show him the ropes. I'll bring Esposito to him and then you get on the inside. Knowing him, he's going to want to show off his prize. So when you get with Ryan stay with him."

"So all I have to do is remember these sheets and we'll get him back?"

"Unfortunately, I didn't get to the difficult part yet. You can't wear a wire, so we have no way to tell to communicate once you're inside. Meaning we won't be able to know when you're ready for us to storm in. So the moment you get in there, you have to find Ryan and _stay with him_."

Javier stayed silent, waiting for him to explain more of the plan.

"We'll have synchronized watches when yours hits zero, so does ours. And once it hits zero, we're going to cause a commotion to bring Magnus out and hopefully Hahn. It's going to get crazy, but no matter what _stay with Ryan_. When you get the chance, you guys grab him and run to the nearest exit. We'll have dozens of officers inside, so it shouldn't be too difficult."

Javier thought this all over in his head and repeated just to be sure, "Okay, so I have a half hour to get to him, stay by his side and then you all will come rushing and I run."

Swain nodded and said, "This is crucial. Once you're with him, don't let him out of your reach. When the shit hits the fan, Magnus may try and get you out of there, but make up any excuse to stay. And once we're in there, you have back-up so if you can, you may need to blow your cover and fight through his guys either to stay by him or get out."

Javier knew if he messed this up, he could die along with Kevin. That didn't change his mind one bit. He'd die for Kevin any day of his life. He was just grateful that he was the one going in because an undercover Narc would definitely hesitate before giving everything to save his partner. It was human nature.

"I'm bringing him home, no matter what," Javier said absolutely.

"Let's get started, then." Swain nodded his head strongly.

Javier grabbed the stack of papers and head towards the breakroom. "I'll be studying this if anyone needs me," he said and left without another word.

* * *

He'd made it to the night. Or least judging by the now empty room, Kevin assumed it was nighttime. It was empty except for Hahn still sitting on the couch, staring almost hungrily at him.

Throughout the day, much traffic had passed through and sneered down at him. Some remembered his face, some only saw the shield around his neck. He was spit on a few times, but most promised to come back the next day when they could "have their fun with him".

They all came for one reason: to get their daily high off drugs. Some smoked, some inhaled, and some injected. He wasn't sure what they were taking most times, but he knew they were strong. He felt disgusted just being in the same room.

His wrists and ankles were sore and bleeding from his constant tugging on the tight ropes that bound him to the chair.

And there was the slight issue involving his bladder, but he knew he wouldn't be allowed to use the restroom so he was going to ignore that problem as long as he could.

There was a large stain on the far wall that Kevin was staring at to keep his mind off of everything around him. Especially Hahn who was still staring creepily at him ever since Magnus left. His eyes were now glazed, but still fixed on Kevin. He only looked away to get more drugs.

"Five hours and twenty-one minutes."

That brought Kevin's attention back to Hahn.

"Five hours and twenty-one minutes," Hahn repeated. "And then you're all mine."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "I'm looking forward to it."

Hahn's smirk faltered for a quick second, but then it was right back on his face. "I'll tell you what _I'm_ looking forward to. We're getting a shipment of a new product. We've heard of its effects. One snort and you'll feel like you're fucking flying." He chuckled and eyed Kevin up and down. "And, boy, I'm excited to see you fly."

"I don't do drugs and I don't want any of your crap." Kevin's hands tightened against the arm rests.

"Do you think you have a choice?" Hahn huffed.

Kevin hesitated before he spoke slowly, "You wouldn't waste it on me. Don't you know how much money you'll lose?"

"Don't you worry your pretty little self over that. I think it's worth it. Soon you'll feel the same."

Kevin has seen what crazy drugs like that do to people from his years in Narcotics, so he knew he wasn't going to enjoy it. It didn't matter since he was going to resist them anyway. He just couldn't let himself fall asleep with Hahn there watching him. He didn't have any drugs in his system to give him the extra kick to stay awake like Hahn, but his adrenaline was working fine so far.

All he had to do was wait for Javier to burst through that door and save him. Kevin could wait for him.

* * *

Castle sighed as he left the break room and sat down next to Beckett.

"Espo's a mess."

"I wouldn't doubt it. He's probably in there blaming himself." Beckett turned away from the work she was trying to distract herself with.

"I offered to help him, but he said he wasn't going to have help when the time came so he doesn't want it now." Castle shook his head.

"We'll get him back." Beckett rubbed his arm.

"That's what you guys think."

Beckett raised her head to where Emily was handcuffed to her brother's desk.

"Excuse me?" Castle asked with raised eyebrows.

"You don't know these guys. Even if we do find him before it's too late, he won't be the same Kevin. That I can guarantee."

"He's been through worse before. He'll be okay," Beckett said with a firm nod of her head.

"I hope so," Emily said softly. "If something happens to him it'll be all my fault. Just ask Esposito." She jerked her head towards the breakroom.

Beckett's face softened. She knew that Emily made many mistakes in her past, but she was sorry and she regretted it. Beckett knew she loved her brother and would do anything to get him back again. "You have to understand...Kevin and Javier have been partners for years. Only been dating a little under a year, but they've loved each other since the moment they met." Beckett smiled softly. "Kevin is Javier's everything. WIthout him, he's lost."

"I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's got someone after what I did to him. I wish I never left him, but he's better off here with you guys and Esposito."

"Emily-."

"No, I'll be gone as soon as this is all over and done. I'll go into Witness Protection so I won't mess up Kevin's life again." She went to wipe the welling tear from her eye, but the handcuffs stopped her. "Do you mind unlocking me so I can run to the bathroom before crashing on the couch. I don't think I'm going back to their place any time soon."

The three looked over to where Esposito was pouring over the papers Swain had given him. Beckett stood up with her key and started to unlock her restraints. "Listen, Em-," Beckett started, but was interrupted.

"Don't worry about it. It's better this way. I can't hurt him if I'm gone."

* * *

Kevin made it through the night without nodding off. His eyes were long past burning and his body ached for rest, but he refused to even blink around Hahn. His butt was also numb from sitting on it for almost 24 hours, but that was probably the least of his problems.

Hahn was still staring at him, but the high had worn off so that crazy look in his eye was gone...well sort of. Kevin still felt disgustingly dirty as Hahn leered at him. Finally, Hahn's gaze drifted up when Kevin heard footsteps behind him.

"Up early, huh?" The voice asked behind him.

Hahn merely chuckled. "More like didn't go to sleep yet."

"Is that so?" Magnus walked around the chair to stand in front of Kevin. "So excited you couldn't sleep?"

"Bite me," Kevin growled.

"No thanks, I'm just here to see if you've changed your mind." He leaned over with his hands on his knees to meet Kevin's eye level. "One last chance...will you give me your sister and drop your little investigation?"

"No," Kevin said without hesitation.

Magnus' jaw clenched and he warned, "Just remember: _you chose this_." Kevin didn't say a word as he glared at him. Magnus straightened with a shrug of his shoulders. Turning to Hahn, he said, "Bring him to the back room. He has a lesson to learn."

"My pleasure, boss." Hahn grinned and grabbed the back of his chair to roughly drag him as they followed Magnus out of the room, down the hall and into a much darker and smellier room.

Once the chair was dropped back to its four legs, Kevin got the chance to look around. There was a small table covered in the back with what looked like pliers and hammers and other tools that probably weren't going to be used to fix anything. More like _break_ something.

"You know this all could have been easily avoided if you just told me where your sister is." Magnus' voice filled the room. "Why are you so protective of her? She's never once tried to protect you."

"She's my little sister."

"And your her big brother, but I guarantee if the roles were reversed she would give you up in a heartbeat." Magnus crossed his arms over his chest.

"That's what you think."

It turned out that Magnus was done with Kevin mouthing off and soon there a fist connecting to his jaw. "That's what I _know_!" He roared, his temper now blown. "I gave you more than enough time. Now it's time to pay you back for that visit years ago. You thought you were so invincible."

Kevin was a little scared of this maniac, but he wasn't going to let it show. He focused on the taste of the blood in his mouth.

"You wanna fuckin' mouth off? Then I'll make sure you can't say a word at all." Another punch to the other side of his face had his head snapping the other way.

Kevin has had his share of bruises from bullies and violent perps so this wasn't his first beating, but he usually was able to fight back. When Travis Ren tried stuffing him a locker, he just kicked him in the groin and ran away. When a perp threw a punch, Kevin could catch his fist. But now he was trapped with his wrists and ankles were tied to the chair.

So Kevin would fight back with his words.

"I don't think you could even put a hand on me if I wasn't tied up. What, are you afraid of me kicking your ass?" Kevin taunted him with a bloody smirk.

Magnus' face grew red with anger and he sent a hard jab straight to his chest. "I don't need you tied up. Trust me. Having you helpless and under my control just gets me excited."

It was impossible for Kevin to shoot back his sarcastic retort he had in his mind because that last punch had left him winded. Then there was another hard punch to his stomach this time and that really didn't help with his bladder issue.

Magnus continued to rant, "I should have done this years ago. But I think I like this better now that I've had so much time to think about how much I hate you." Magnus' hand wrapped around Kevin's throat suddenly and cut off the air Kevin was still struggling to take in.

Magnus squeezed tighter and leaned his face close to Kevin's. "You're the only one to ever talk to me like crap and live. But I got news for you, boy. I won't make that mistake again."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter comes the non-consensual drug use. I'm sorry if it's all wrong. I know nothing of drugs and I researched as much as I possibly could without getting to a dark side of the web I didn't want to find. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

" _Kevin?" Emily's soft voice filled the dark room. She held her big brother tightly as they laid under the large blanket in his bed. There had been a particularly nasty fight between Kevin and their father that night. The moment that Kevin walked into his bedroom, Emily ran into his arms and hadn't let go since._

" _Yeah, princess?"_

" _Are you going to leave?" She asked quietly, but Kevin could still hear the crack in her voice._

_Kevin held her tighter. "Why would I leave, Emma?"_

" _Mom left."_

" _Ma was sick. You know that."_

_Emily was silent for a moment as she twisted her fingers deeper into Kevin's t-shirt. "You're gonna leave too. In a few years, you'll go to college. I'll be stuck here."_

" _I'm not leaving you. There's a college across town. I can take a bus back and forth." Kevin didn't want to spend any more time at home than he needed to, but he wasn't going to leave his baby sister alone._

" _Good," she breathed a sigh of relief. "I wouldn't be very brave without you."_

_Kevin kissed the top of her head. "I think you're the bravest little girl I know."_

" _Not without you."_

_Kevin laughed softly. "What happens when you get older and don't wanna hang out with your big brother anymore?"_

" _I'll never be too big for you, Kevin," she said seriously._

" _Let's make a deal, then. I'll never leave you if you never leave me."_

" _Okay."_

_Kevin tickled her stomach eliciting giggles from her. "You promise?"_

" _I promise," she gasped between laughs. "I promise."_

* * *

"That's Jacobs and he goes on runs. Collins keeps an eye on the stock. Hahn takes care of those who need to learn a lesson…" Javier tailed off at the mention of Magnus' brute enforcer. He knew Kevin was probably with that sick bastard right now as Javier sat on his ass. And who knew what he was going through all because Javier let him get up and leave. He was holding Kevin in his arms and he just let him-.

"Javier, you need to take a break. Worrying about him won't help."

Javier flinched slightly after being used to the silence all night long as he read. "Castle, I'm fine, okay?"

The writer didn't believe him. "You're not. Have you even slept yet?"

Javier shuffled through the papers, trying to avoid Castle's eyes. "No. I can't mess this up. I have to know _everything_." Javier looked back down to the papers spread across the table.

Castle's gaze followed Javier's. "I think you could recite all this backward by now."

"Yeah," Javier mumbled, reading it all again in his head.

"You need to go home and get some rest," Castle said softly, putting a hand on his arm in an attempt to comfort him. Castle knew the stoic detective was prone to avoid physical acts of affection unless they came from Kevin) but he had to try.

"No," Javier said. "I don't go home until my partner does."

Castle sighed. "Javi, I know you don't usually like talking about your...feelings," Castle stumbled over the lack of a better word. "But you can't keep this all bottled in."

"Yes, I can." He picked up his pencil to take notes on the papers in front of him.

Castle knew he was trying to avoid the conversation, but he wasn't going to let him. "You love him." Javier's writing halted. "I know you've only been dating for a few months and I'm not sure if you've told each other yet, but I can see it. How much you love him and how he loves you. I saw it before you two even got together,"

"Castle-." Javier froze at Castle's blunt words. "I know he's important to you. I know you'd be lost without him. And I know you're lost right now. But we're gonna get him back." Castle paused before continuing, " And I know you don't like Emily."

Javier scoffed. "That's an understatement."

"But do you really blame her for all of this?" Caste inquired.

"Yes," Javier snapped. "Castle, he'd be here right now. She had no right to come back into his life, and blame him like he pushed her away."

"She's really beating herself up out there, Espo. Just like I know you are." Castle watched as the anger drained from Javier's eyes leaving nothing but regret and guilt. "Blaming yourself isn't going to help us either."

Javier dropped his pencil from his hand and admitted in a broken voice that Castle had never heard from him before, "I want him back, Castle. You don't understand. I _need_ him so much that it scares me."

Castle had never seen Javier be so open and vulnerable. "Before you know it, we'll have Ryan back safe and sound in your arms."

"Don't," Javier whispered in a cold voice. "Don't make a promise that we both know you can't keep."

* * *

"C'mon, Blue Eyes, let's hear you scream." Hahn smirked as he ran the blade of his knife down his thigh.

Kevin was breathing heavy and there was blood dripping down his chin from his lip because he was biting with al his might to keep himself from screaming. His chest and stomach were covered in slices that made it hurt to take a deep breath.

Hahn was careful to cause a burning pain with each time he carved into Kevin, but still keep them shallow enough so Kevin wasn't in danger of bleeding out. That would end the fun early.

Sometime after Hahn had dropped the knife and turned to sending his fist into each open wound, Magnus left the room to check on their shipment that just arrived. Kevin ached all over, but he refused to let it show.

"What's a matter, little piggy? Aren't you having fun?" Hahn laughed in Kevin's face and he tried not to gag at the stink of his breath. Hahn grabbed Kevin's wrist tightly where there was a cut from the knife and squeezed it hard. Kevin hissed in pain. "Did you hear me?"

"Go to hell," Kevin grunted.

Hahn growled and lifted the blade back up above his head and was ready to send it crashing into Kevin, but Magnus' arrival stopped him. "Not yet, Hahn. We've got ways to go with him." Hahn looked pained to have to stop his torturing, but he listened and lowered his arm.

"Good news. We just got a major shipment.." Magnus held up a small baggie filled with a white powder.

Kevin scoffed. "What's special about your cocaine?"

Magnus chuckled darkly. "You wish this was cocaine, detective."

Kevin eyed the small bag warily. "What do I care?"

Magnus mocked surprise. "You're my guest here and I don't think it's very fair of me to not offer you anything."

"My answer is no."

Magnus narrowed his eyes. "I don't remember giving you a choice." He grabbed Kevin's cheeks roughly between his hand. "And I'm telling you that you're taking it."

Kevin narrowed his eyes and remained silent, but his heart was pounding. He knew there was no chance of his avoiding it. Magnus let go his face and turned to Hahn. "Go get that table. If we start now it should last all night."

Kevin struggled against the ropes as Hahn dragged over over the small table until it was right in front of him. He grinned down at his captive. "Time to play."

Magnus kneeled next to him and swiftly poured out the contents on the table top. Kevin watched as he skillfully separated the powder into five separate lines.

"You tell us when you start to have fun," Magnus said as he grabbed Kevin's hair roughly.

"Here you go, boss." Hahn grinned at Kevin but passed the tightly rolled dollar bill to Magnus.

Kevin felt a shiver run down his back. He didn't want to do this, but he knew, in the end, he'd have no choice. "I'm going to get out of here and when I do, I promise, I will _kill you_."

The grip on his hair tightened and he winced. "I don't think so," Magnus growled as he shoved Kevin's head to the table. Kevin pushed back just as hard to keep him as far away from the drug as he could.

"What's a matter? Never had some of the good stuff before?" Hahn cackled as he wrapped a sweaty palm around Kevin's mouth so he had to breathe through his nose.

And the truth was that Kevin had never taken anything to get a kick. He had vowed to steer clear of drugs when he'd seen what they did to Emily. Just the thought gave him the strength to continue resisting.

He didn't want to feel his noses burning and his eye watering. He didn't want to fly or feel high. He wanted to be home. He wanted to be with Javi.

With one last try, he mustered all he could to shove Magnus' grip off of him. It wasn't as strong as Kevin hoped, but it was enough to anger Magnus again. He slammed Kevin's head into the table once and then twice and finally a third time. If his nose wasn't broken before, it definitely was now. He groaned as he felt blood trickle down his lip.

His head was shoved down again, but this time a hand on his back stopped him from coming back up. He would have tried harder if he wasn't fighting back another headache. Not a second later, there was a hand over his nose as well so he couldn't breathe at all. It stayed there until Kevin's lungs burned and then it was gone. But as Kevin breathed in that welcomed relief of air, the first line of their 'special drug' came up with it.

It burned so badly that Kevin wouldn't be surprised if his nose hairs were singed to a crisp. He could practically taste the chemicals in his mouth. He already hated it.

The hand was back on his nose and he couldn't breathe again until it was gone. But when he breathed again he inhaled more of it. The next time they did it, he tried to hold his breath, but it was impossible for him to do it forever.

He was pushed down again and again until there was none left. Finally, the hands were off of him and Kevin slumped in his chair. His head was a disoriented mess between the possible concussion and the drug. He blew harshly through his nose trying to get the leftover residue from his nose. It didn't do much to help. He was breathing heavily and his heart was beating wildly in his chest.

"Had fun snorting, little piggy?"

Kevin wrinkled his nose, wishing he could get the feeling out of his head. He could feel his brain starting to practically decompose brain cell by brain cell. His skin tingled and the small rational part of his brain left tried to keep himself calm, but the prominent part of his brain, the part that was 'high', wouldn't allow him to. So he tried not to imagine his skin tingling from thousands of bugs crawling underneath his skin.

All he had to do was take a deep breath in and out. Stay calm and-

"Already kicking in, huh?" Magnus' voice disrupted him and he couldn't focus on staying calm when Magnus and Hahn were still leering down at him with matching smirks.

"Looks like he's having fun." Hahn dragged his fingers softly down his arm and Kevin hated how he flinched. The feeling left behind felt as if a million spiders escaped from his touch. Magnus laughed as he watched Kevin's reaction. "Even if he is isn't, I think we have our own share of fun."

Kevin squeezed his eyes shut and ignore them, but it didn't help. He was completely helpless against the two right then.

* * *

"Where's Esposito?" James asked, rushing into the bullpen.

Beckett gestured over her shoulder where he was still holed up in the breakroom. "Why? Did you find something?"

"I'm going in now to set it all up. Depending on what Magnus says, Esposito is either in tonight or early tomorrow."

As if Javier had a sixth sense, he picked up his head and saw Swain talking with Beckett. He grabbed his papers in haste and hurried out.

"Good. Listen, Esposito, I'm going to talk to Magnus. Do you have all that down?" He gestured to the papers.

"Yeah, I've got it all memorized."

"I'm going in now. I can't wear a wire, but I'll let you all know everything when I come back." Swain nodded and was getting ready to leave when Emily caught his attention.

"Be careful with him," she warned. "He's sneaky and will catch the smallest slip."

James grinned. "I've been dealing with your boyfriend for years. I'll be fine."

"Let's hope the same for Kevin," she said softly to herself as he walked to the elevator.

* * *

Magnus grinned down at the cop tied to the chair. He had seen his fair share of victims in this chair that were subjected to the same torture, but this was definitely his favorite.

Everyone else that had been in this chair had it coming. In this line of life, a little torture wasn't a surprise. But this cop, he'd probably never been held captive like this. And this was definitely his first time with any drug as strong as the one they gave him. He was out of it and his body didn't like this new unknown substance floating through his bloodstream. It was fun to watch how twitchy he was.

The once tough and smart-ass cop now flinched at the slightest movement. He also believed everything that was told to him. That made the part when Hahn 'let loose a spider nest on him' extra fun.

"Too bad you didn't just tell us where your sister is. But that ship has sailed. She's boring and knows not to talk back during punishment. But you have a fire in your eyes that I can't wait to blow out." Magnus tugged hard on Kevin's hair and watch his dilated eyes widen.

"No, no, no," he mumbled.

"Yes, yes, _yes_ ," Magnus yelled right back. He didn't even have to hold Kevin in place as he slapped him hard across the cheek. "I'm keeping you and you'll keep getting more and more until you're hooked and can't function without getting your hit. Kinda like your sister. And then once you're broken and gone, I'll throw you back to your friends. You won't last a day before you come crawling back to me on your hands and knees begging for more."

Magnus didn't know if he understood him. He looked dazed but frightened.

"Never," he mumbled with the worst glare he could muster, which wasn't too impressive. "I'd rather die."

Magnus growled and wrapped his hands tightly around Kevin's throat. He squeezed tighter and tighter. "You're going to break. Your friends will be there to watch." Magnus stopped talking but didn't move his hands away. He watched with a smile as his lips slowly turned blue and his wrists bucked against the arms of the chair trying to get loose enough to pull his hands off his neck.

Magnus was caught up in the enjoyment that he didn't let go until a voice at the door interrupted him.

"I'm sorry to disrupt, sir, but you have someone here to see you." He nodded once before walking away.

Magnus straightened and he looked at the now gasping cop. Then he turned to Hahn and said, "Let's leave him here, turn the lights out and let him ride out the rest alone. We'll come back when he's coherent."

Hahn chuckled and followed Magnus towards the door. Just before he left, he turned to the kid tied up in the chair and grinned. "Good night, see you soon," he singsonged before he shut the lights off and slammed the door.

* * *

James sat down on a ratty couch waiting for Magnus to come out. He had a feeling that Ryan was being kept here, but he couldn't be sure where exactly they were keeping him.

"Haven't seen you in a while, man," Magnus said, stepping into the room.

James stood up with a forced smile. He really hated this part of the job- pretending to be friends with a man like Magnus. A man that tortured and killed people. A man that was torturing one of his friends right now.

"Been busy." He shrugged his shoulders.

"I know what you mean." Magnus chuckled. He took a seat next to James. "So what can I do for you?"

"Well, you see, I got this new guy coming in and he's good, but he ain't perfect." James was good at this- the constant lying. "I need him to be perfect and you're the best so I was thinkin' you could meet him and see if you can do anything 'bout him."

Magnus nodded, thinking it over in his mind. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke up again, "As I said: I am very busy."

James knew he had to be persistent. Magnus was no pushover. "Of course, but if I offer you 30% of his earnings will that make you a little less busy?"

Magnus smirked. "Maybe, but I honestly am busy. I'm sure you've heard about what I've been up to. Got myself a new pet."

James felt his insides twist but didn't let it show. "I did. I can only imagine what fun you've been having."

Magnus laughed. "Tons. This is the same pig that promised to kill me. It's time we started putting them in their place."

"Another reason why I chose you: only you would have the balls to take a cop."

"I want your kid to know who he's dealing with. The kind of guy that keeps a cop tied up in his back room. I got no room for messing around," Magnus warned.

Kevin was in the back room. James grinned. "Oh, I'm sure he has no problem with that."

"Good, I like this kid already. Tell him my guys will pick him up at the corner of 9th and 21st tomorrow at noon."

* * *

Castle and Beckett walked into the bullpen at seven, ready to find Kevin and bring him home. They expected to see Javier in before them but didn't expect to see him passed out on his desk. His head was in his arms as he snored into his keyboard.

"He needed the rest," Beckett sighed. "We'll wake him up when James gets back."

"He said he was staying late, but I didn't think he just wasn't going to leave." Castle looked down at the sleeping detective with a frown.

"He was up for more than 24 hours, it's not a surprise. That's probably why James called _us_ to let us know that Javi can go in. Javi missed the call," Beckett said, walking into her office.

Castle sat in Kevin's desk across from Javier's and smiled. "Well, it's a great thing I bought extra bagels." He dropped the bag holding their breakfast on the desk.

"Hey! Can someone come unlock me?" They heard Emily shout.

"Whoops," Castle said, "I forgot about her."

Beckett rolled her eyes and walked towards the break room where Emily was lying on the couch with her arms raised about her head and cuffed to the couch. Beckett used her keys to unlock Javier's handcuffs from Emily's wrists. She pocketed the cuffs and let Emily stand.

"That damn idiot tied me up and left me here all night," she complained, rubbing her wrists.

"Watch it," Beckett warned.

"All I'm saying is I don't see why he keeps cuffing me. I'm not stupid enough to run away. I've got a price on my head," she said, walking into the bullpen.

Beckett followed behind her as she made her way to Kevin and Javier's desks. Emily passed behind Javier, but not without deliberately knocking into his chair. Javier immediately jerked up at the sudden hit. "Oops, I'm sorry," Emily said not sounding sincere at all.

Javier narrowed his eyes at her. "Yeah, sure you are."

Emily shrugged her shoulders before taking a seat next to Kevin's desk.

Castle pulled out a bagel for Javier and handed him a cup of coffee. "Everything with cream cheese."

"Thanks, Castle," Javier said, obviously still exhausted as he moved sluggishly to take it from Castle's outstretched hand.

Castle nodded and handed a plain bagel to Emily. "Wasn't sure what you liked."

Emily took the bagel and pulled the top and bottom apart. She made a face at the cream cheese. "I like butter."

"Cry me a river," Javier deadpanned as he took a sip of his coffee. Then he turned to Beckett and asked, "Did we hear from James yet?"

"Actually, yeah, he called last night. You're going in at noon," Beckett said hesitantly.

"What? He called? Why the hell didn't anyone wake me up?" Javier asked angrily.

"Listen, Espo, there was nothing more you could have done. Not until today at twelve," Beckett said calmly, keeping Javier from freaking out.

"I could have, I could have," Javier stuttered as he ran a hand through his hair. He racked his brain for something to say but came up with nothing.

"Exactly," Castle said, "You couldn't have done anything. You needed the rest for today when you go in and save Kevin."

"I can't wait. Why can't we just get him now?" Javier fell back in his chair with a heavy sigh. His voice sounded close to breaking.

"We're gonna use this time to perfect our plan, okay?" Beckett wasn't good at physically comforting people, but she sat next to Javier anyway and held his hand in hers. "James' going to meet us soon and we'll get this all done."

Javier squeezed her hand back weakly. "Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. He was supposed to be at my Mama's house helping us with dinner." He took a deep breath. "Our first holiday together." He laughed weakly. "Mama was so excited and now," his voice turned bitter, "I'll have to tell her he was kidnapped by a freaking drug lord."

"We're gonna get him back and in time for Thanksgiving," Beckett said.

"We weren't supposed to spend Thanksgiving at a hospital or his funeral."

"No funeral, maybe a hospital, but at least you'll be together, right?" Beckett smiled.

Javier just stood up from his chair and announced, "I'm going to get some fresh air."

Beckett watched him walk out with a small frown. He needed Kevin back and he needed him now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are all still enjoying my account! Please let me know in the comments below.
> 
> Edit: I don't know why I said account, I meant story. Lol I've been on instagram too long. I apologize.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a long chapter. There was no good spot to split tihs and I figured I owed you all a Christmas present. I don't have much left. Maybe a chapter or two, so I may even update again to finish by Christmas and start posting my secret santa fics

Kevin opened his eyes with several blinks, but couldn't tell if he was waking up or if he was just becoming coherent again. The last thing he remembered were the drugs. He didn't remember much after that.

Judging by the pain that was unbearable all over, Kevin knew they had to have beat him up a lot more. There was no longer a burning pressure on his bladder and his boxers stuck to his thighs. Kevin didn't want to think about when he wet himself during his high.

He felt much more relieved, but that didn't ease any of the humiliation. Or maybe Magnus didn't know. Even if he knew it had to happen sooner or later if they were going to keep Kevin tied to a chair for days on end.

He just wanted to go home. He wanted to go home to Javi. He wanted Jai to hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay.

Was Javier worried out of his mind? Was he close to finding him? Did he miss Thanksgiving? He wasn't sure what day it was or how long her had been tied to this chair, but it felt like weeks. He was starving and parched and in desperate need of a shower. A warm bath with Javi sounded like heaven on earth right now.

Javier could wash away all of the dirt, blood, pain and humiliation with of touch of his hands.

Unfortunately, Kevin's soothing thoughts were interrupted when Magnus walked back through the door.

"Oh, good, you're awake," he crooned. "How are you feeling?"

"Bite me," Kevin growled.

"That good, huh?" Magnus smirked. Kevin just narrowed his eyes harder. Magnus shrugged his shoulders. "Don't worry, I have some more fun planned for us."

"I'm not giving up my sister. I'd rather die."

"Ah, we can arrange that, but not so soon." Magnus grinned. He turned away from him and started to rummage through the table covered in knives, drills, pliers and other things that could be used to inflict pain. "Besides, it's not about her anymore. I told you. You had your chance to get away. Now I wouldn't stop for anything. This is just too much fun." He cleared his throat and said, "Before we begin, how did you like the drug? One of the best."

Kevin flinched at the thought, but Magnus couldn't see him since he still had his back to him.

Magnus turned around with raised eyebrows. "What's wrong? Did I not give you enough? Your sister used to love the kick she got from everything I gave her."

"Don't talk about her," Kevin growled.

"I'm sorry, is she still a soft spot?" Magnus asked in a faux-sympathetic voice. "She picked me over her big brother. That hurts, doesn't it?"

"You manipulated her. She didn't know you had her hooked to your shit."

"She came to me," Magnus roared suddenly. "She wanted to get away from you and she came to me!"

Kevin shook his head, only furthering his headache. "No. She wasn't running from me. I was was trying to help her. We were going to get away."

Magnus leaned over, pointing his knife threateningly at Kevin. "No. She didn't run from you. Because you were never there to stop her."

Kevin tried to glare right back without wavering, but he found his resolve breaking. "I was at work and school. I was trying to build a way to keep her safe."

"Guess what?" His whisper turned into a yell, "You. Failed!"

Those words hit him hard. For so long he tried to push all the away from him. He blamed his father and his older brothers for how they ended up, but now he couldn't help but realize it was all his fault. _It was all Kevin's fault._

He should have been there. He should have tried harder. He should have protected his baby sister.

"And for that I think you deserve a little punishing, don't you agree?"Magnus grinned, twirling the knife in his hand.

Kevin shook his head, trying to fight Magnus manipulation. He wouldn't give in. It was all a lie.

Magnus chuckled. "I'm having a hard time finding a clear spot for me to bruise and bleed. Ever part of you is black and blue to match those eyes of yours. Such pretty blue eyes like your sister."

Kevin gritted his teeth and turned his head away, but Magnus grabbed his cheek to roughly pull his head back. "Look at me when I talk to you, bitch."

Kevin narrowed his eyes as best as he could with one swollen. "When my team comes to rescue me, you're going to regret this."

Magnus laughed like that was the funniest thing he had heard all day. "You're fucking hilarious, you know that?" He lifted the knife so the blade was touching the skin under his chin. "I dare you to say another word."

Kevin kept his mouth shut, knowing if he moved his mouth, the blade would pierce under his jaw.

Magnus grinned. "That's what I thought." Suddenly he the knife away from Kevin's skin, but with a swift jab, Magnus had the knife sticking out of Kevin's thigh and he twisted it slowly.

For the first time since he was taken, Kevin let out a scream. Another scream ripped through his sore throat when Magnus twisted it again, tearing the muscles in his thigh.

Magnus released his grip on the hilt of the knife and left it there. Kevin hunched his shoulders and started breathing heavy. Magnus patted Kevin's cheek lightly with a grin. "That's what I was looking for."

Kevin bit down on his lip, struggling to control his breathing. He didn't say a word, not trusting his voice. Magnus stood up and walked back to the cart. He picked up the drill and push the button to make the screw tip whirl with a deafening buzz. "How could do you think you can get with this?"

As Magnus walked back over, Kevin gulped and prepared for the pain. He squeezed his eyes shut, but a knock at the door stopped Magnus. Kevin breathed a sigh of relief. When the drill was turned off.

"Sir, he's here."

The irritation was wiped from Magnus' face. "Just in time. Watch him while I bring him in." Before he left, he ripped the knife from Kevin's thigh suddenly, eliciting another sharp cry of pain from him.

Kevin gasped out quick and uneven breaths as he watched his blood start to pool out of the wound.

"With pleasure," Hahn said, walking back to stand in front of Kevin. He looked down at Kevin as he took a long drag from his cigarette. With a puff, he blew a cloud of smoke into Kevin's face. "What? You thought just because the boss is gone our fun is over?" He lifted the cigarette in front of his face to inspect the growing burning ash, but he didn't flick it.

"Good thing you're wrong," Hahn grinned. He brought the cigarette down on Kevin's wrist and kept pushing it down until all the ashes were gone.

Kevin tried to hold back the scream that the pain required for him to let out, but he couldn't. He screamed and because his wrist was tied down, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't escape the burning. The smell of burnt skin made him nauseous.

Hahn finally lifted his hand and threw the cigarette to the ground. Kevin wished he burnt his hand instead since he was already numb in his hands and feet from being tied up so long.

Kevin took a deep ragged breath and tried to steady his breathing. Each breath sent more waves of pain from the scrapes and bruises he was pulling on his chest.

"Isn't this fun?" Hahn asked as he stood up straight and pulled out a syringe from his pocket. "But, I do feel bad. You look like you're in so much pain." His voice was full of faux concern. "Maybe this will help make the pain go away."

Kevin shook in his restraints. No. He didn't want any more drugs. Not that Hahn cared. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it more watching Kevin freak out. He laughed as he stuck the needle in Kevin's arm and shot the drug in.

He pulled it out carelessly and Kevin winced. He had no clue what he was getting now, but he just wanted it to end. He closed his eyes and groaned, his headache and the rest of his pain making itself known as it spread throughout his body.

"Wake up, sweetheart. We're just getting started." Hahn's fist punched him in the face and Kevin groaned painfully. Then there was another on the other side of his face. Kevin slowly let his eyes open up at Hahn just in time to see another fist come flying to him. He didn't even bother trying to get out of the way. What was the point?

He wished he would get knocked out so he didn't have to be awake for any of this. Another punch, this time to his gut, but he refused to scream again. He bit his lip hard instead. He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed. He prayed harder than he had in awhile. But instead of God, he found himself praying to Javier.

_Javi, I can't hold on much longer. I need you. Please._

Hahn stuck his finger in the hole that Magnus's knife had left behind and twisted it around painfully. Kevin's eyes shot open and he choked out a scream. Hahn smiled and dug his finger in deeper. Kevin gasped in pain, still having yet to catch his breath.

Hahn pulled his finger out slow and roughly with a grin. "I told you we'd crack you."

Kevin just glared, or tried to. His vision was swimming and his heart was beating wildly in his chest. He could hold on. He had to. Javier was coming for him.

Hahn stood up and picked up the drill that Magnus had left. Kevin's eyes widened as he flicked it on and held it close to his thigh. "Now here comes my favorite part."

* * *

"Is everyone clear?" James asked as they strapped on kevlar vests. All except for Javier.

"I'd feel better if Espo was wearing one," Beckett said as she fastened Castle's.

He'll find it, Beckett.. Don't worry. I'll be fine." Esposito said, fidgeting. They were so close to getting Kevin back.

"Remember, Esposito," James said, "Twelve-thirty we're busting in there, so you better be ready by his side."

Esposito nodded. "Once I find him, I won't leave his side. I only have a half hour from the time they pick me up at twelve to find him. Anybody that tries to stop me, I kill 'em."

Not a person in the room doubted that.

"Only blow your cover if needed, after 12:30," James reminded him. "That way you know backup is coming."

"The moment I see Kevin, I won't need back-up. My anger and adrenaline will be more than enough." Javier squared his shoulders.

"Can I help you guys? I know some things that could help," Emily asked hesitantly.

"No," Javier said immediately. "We're trying to keep you away from them."

"Oh, come on! I'll be careful. Why does the writer get to go? This is _my_ older brother." She threw her hands up in the air.

"That _writer_ stayed by your brother's side for the past thirteen years while you were busy getting high in some crack house," Javier snapped. "And did I mention it's your fault that he's in this mess in the first place? I don't care who you are- you left him behind years ago. He's _my_ partner, _my_ boyfriend _, my_ best friend. I will not have you screw this up," Javier yelled at her with a harsh glare. He slammed his fist into their murder board and when he pulled his hand away, he saw the hole he left behind. He stormed off with a curse.

"I guess we're on our way then," James said, watching Javier stomp to the elevator.

Before following, Beckett turned to Emily. "We'll bring him back. Don't worry."

Emily didn't say a word, but just nodded her head. She knew she could help. She could save her brother. If only they'd given her a chance.

* * *

Javier had to remain calm. If he was suspicious in the slightest bit, they'd make him as a cop and Kevin was a dead man. Javier couldn't lose him.

So as he saw the black SUV pull up exactly at noon, he didn't let his anxiety show. A door was opened and without a word, he stepped inside.

The truck was driving again before Javier could even sit down. When he was finally settled, he looked around the car. There was a man in the front and a man sitting next to him. They were burly, but Javier knew that with his training, he could easily take them both.

Javier didn't recognize either from the papers he's spent the past two days memorizing, so he knew they were just two of Magnus' henchmen.

He stayed silent the entire trip and kept eyes on the watch he wore on his wrist. The minutes ticked on and by the time they reached an old warehouse, it was 12:16. That left him 14 minutes to find Kevin.

He was patted down before he could get past the front door. He held his breath even though he knew there was nothing hidden linking him to being a cop.

After he was done being checked, one of the goons surrounding him called out. "Hey, Hahn! Tell Magnus he's here."

 _Hahn_. Javier's head shot up at the name and he caught sight of one of the faces he'd been studying for the past two days.

He had a sickening smile on his face with a cigarette dangling between his lips. "Sure thing." He caught Javier's eyes and Javier saw nothing but hatred and pure evil.

Javier didn't turn away until Hahn did. He wouldn't show any weakness. Hahn disappeared down the hallway and Javier turned to look around.

The place was unkempt and filthy. Just breathing in this air for a few minutes was like Javier's lungs were taking in nothing but crap. He could tell the stench and smoke was coming from a small room where everything that could give someone a high was being smoked by a small group of men.

"So, you're Chad."

It took a second for Javier to realize this new voice was talking to him. That was the name James had given him.

"Yeah," he said, turning away from the room to look at the man in front of him. He immediately recognized him as Magnus.

"Good, you came at a perfect time." Magnus grinned.

Javier's eyes flicked down to a small blood covered blade hanging from his belt loop. Javier hoped it wasn't, but he had an idea whom that blood belonged to. "Why's that?"

"Because I'm teaching a lesson that I think you'd find good to learn early." Magnus started leading him towards the hall that Hahn had went down earlier, but never returned. "Loyalty."

_12:21_

"Does this have anything to do with that cop? I've been hearing rumors you actually caught one." Javier put a faux smile on his face. He was never really good at acting, but for Kevin he'd perfect it.

"You've been hearing right, kid. And yes, that's where we're headed."

Javier clenched a fist. "You keep him here? Aren't you scared that the cops are gonna find him here with you?"

"That's the point. Their boy is right under their noses, but they know not to try anything." Magnus scoffed. "If I found one pig near him, I'd make them watch me put a bullet in his head before I roasted them."

Javier would love to see someone try to put a bullet in Kevin when he was there to stop them.

"It's a teasing, ya' know? I have him practically danglin' in the open and they can't save him."

A sudden scream stopped them in their place. Javier knew that scream. It took all of his strength not to go running to find Kevin.

"Sounds like Hahn started without us," Magnus said with a chuckle.

Javier started walking towards the room, but Magnus stopped him. "Don't interrupt him. You wouldn't want to take this pig's spot."

Except Javier would. He would do anything to take the pain away from Kevin.

Magnus chortled and slapped Javier on the back. "I'm just busting your balls. You'd hafta do a lot more to get what he's gettin'."

Javier couldn't even muster a smile. "I hear you."

"Let's get in there before there's nothing left for us." Magnus started walking again and Javier was right on his heels. They were finally getting to Kevin.

_12:24_

Magnus couldn't open the door and get inside fast enough for Javier. But Javier walked through the moment he got a chance to. His heart jumped into his throat when he saw what was going on in the room.

Hahn was leaning over Kevin as he held a whirling bloody power drill over his mouth. Kevin was weakly struggling against the restraints that bound him to the chair, but it didn't help.

Javier was about to blow his cover early when Magnus spoke, "Why don't you leave his mouth alone until at least after he says hello to our guest."

Hahn was definitely under Magnus in the chain of command because he quickly pulled the drill from Kevin's mouth and shut it off. "Just having a little fun."

"Fuck you," Kevin panted when Hahn was no longer leaning over him.

Javier felt a swell of pride when he heard that. His partner was still biting back after three days of torture.

Hahn pressed the trigger of the drill, turning it on again, but Magnus quickly cleared his throat. Hahn hesitated before finally shutting it off and settled on spitting at him.

Kevin flinched as the spit landed on his cheek, but his glare didn't waver. Javier on the other hand was fuming. He was going to kill Hahn.

"He doesn't give up, huh?" Javier spoke slowly and watched as Kevin's head snapped up. Javier locked eyes with him and could see the shock in his wide eyes. He blinked several times, probably trying to figure out if he was hallucinating or not.

And now that he was looking up, Javier could see how bruised, broken and bloody his face was. If Javier hadn't known him for almost 20 years, he wasn't sure he'd be able to recognize him.

Magnus must had noticed Javier's staring because he laughed and said, "I like to play with my food before I eat it." Then he turned his attention to Kevin. "We had a great time, didn't we, boy?"

But Kevin was still staring at Javier and didn't respond to Magnus' questions. Magnus leaned forward and grabbed Kevin's shield he still wore around his neck. He yanked on it with a growl, roughly breaking Kevin's trance. "I'm talking to you, bitch."

Kevin's eyes trailed back to Javier. They were glassy and dilated. Javier's heart skipped a beat when he realized it was because Kevin was strung out high on whatever they were giving him.

Magnus followed his gaze back to Javier. "Oh, you like our guest. You think we should give him a turn?" Magnus let go of Kevin's shield and Kevin slumped in his chair.

Magnus turned to Javier with the bloody knife in his hand. He nodded his head towards Kevin. "Go ahead. Make him scream."

_12:28._

Javier took the knife away from Magnus slowly. He only had to stall for two minutes. He walked closer with the blade gripped tightly in his hand. When the cavalry arrived, he wanted to be the closest to Kevin. "What's so special about him?" Javier asked.

"What?" Magnus was caught off guard by the question.

"I mean you could take any cop you wanted to- why him?" Javier held Kevin's eye contact trying to speak via their unspoken eye gaze language. But Kevin wasn't understanding. It scared Javier to see Kevin this messed up.

"Let's just say we share a history."

Javier looked down at his watch. _12:29_. Less than a minute. He looked up at Kevin again and saw the fear in Kevin's eyes. Javier wanted to assure him the hurting was over, but Javier wasn't even sure if Kevin knew he was actually _there_.

" _It's okay,"_ Javier mouthed to him. " _It's ok-."_ He was interrupted by shouting and banging outside the door. Then a man burst through it.

"Sir," he said out of breath. "We have a problem. Cops."

"Shit," Magnus cursed.

Javier looked down at his watch. _12:30_. Right on time.

Magnus turned to Hahn. "Keep them here. I'll take care of this." He quickly exited the room.

Javier waited a moment after he left to make sure he was really gone before making a move.

"Get ready to fight, rookie. We may-." Hahn started to say, but Javier punched him across the face. "What the fuck?" Javier threw another punch, pushing Hahn into the wall. Hahn wiped his now bleeding nose with the back of his hand. "Are you a fuckin' cop? You the one that blew our cover?"

"Not just any cop. That cop's partner," Javier said with a smile.

Hahn growled and threw himself at Javier. They both tumbled to the dirty ground. Hahn landed on top of Javier, giving him a chance to throw his own punches in. "I'm going to peel off his skin while you fucking watch."

"No," Javier grunted. "You're never touching him again. "He brought his knee up, slamming it into Hahn's stomach.

Hahn rolled off of him finally, but unfortunately that gave him the chance to pull his gun out of his back of his pants.

Javier was not going to let him even think about pulling the trigger. He watched Hahn raise the gun towards Kevin. Somewhere it would only hurt because Javier knew that Hahn wanted them both to suffer before they died. Not that they were going to.

Javier didn't give it a second thought before he threw himself in front Hahn and grabbed his wrist. He shoved the gun down and took his aim off of Kevin. The gun fired at the ground and Javier was just thankful there was enough commotion outside to drown out the fighting going on in here.

Javier sent a punch to Hahn's kidney causing the larger man to drop the gun to the floor . However, he quickly recovered and knocked Javier's feet out from under him. He landed on his stomach with Hahn on his legs. Hahn grabbed the back of his collar and started to slam Javier's head into the ground.

After four times, Javier felt blood start to slowly spill from his nose. He tried to shove Hahn off of him, but the brute had him pinned good.

In between each slam of his head, Javier stole a glance up at his partner. His poor partner that was bloody and hanging on by a thread. Javier knew what they'd do to him and how much more they'd hurt him if he lost this battle.

So he summoned all of the strength and dwindling adrenaline he had left to reach his hands slowly toward the dropped gun by Kevin's bare feet.

With Hahn focused on cursing out Javier, he used the distraction to reach out and grab the pistol. In one swift motion, he twisted underneath Hahn and raised the gun. "You're not gonna fucking touch my partner again."

Hahn's eyes widened just before Javier pulled the trigger. The bullet went through Hahn's forehead just between his eyes and he was gone instantly. Javier wished he could have made him suffer, but he knew there was no time.

Hahn fell heavily on top of him, but Javier quickly rolled him off. He picked himself up and put three more bullets into Hahn's back. And that's for spitting on my partner."

 _His partner_.

Javier whipped his head to where Kevin was still tied to the chair. He was there by his side in one stride. "Oh, baby, what did they do to you? Javier whispered as he cupped Kevin's swollen cheek lightly in his hands.

Kevin squirmed in his grip. "No more. Not real."

Javier held his cheek with both hands to keep Kevin looking at him. "Hey, look at me. It's me. I'm here to save you."

"I can't do it again." His voice was low and hard for Javier to hear.

Javier leaned closer. "Do what? What's wrong, Kevin?"

Kevin went silent and his breathing became even more uneven. Javier lifted up his hand and placed it on Kevin's arm. Kevin jerked but was held back by the restraints. Javier pulled back his hand quickly and spoke softly, "I'm sorry-."

Kevin squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head fervently. "No, no, no , no."

"Hey, it's okay," Javier said, reaching his hands out to hold Kevin again. He stopped just before touching him. He didn't want Kevin to get more upset. "It's really me, Kev. Open your eyes for me, baby."

Finally, Kevin blinked slowly and then his bloodshot blue eyes connected with Javier's again. "Javi," he tried to say, but no sound came out.

"Shh," Javier murmured, "You're going to be okay. I'm here." He inspected the ropes tied tightly around Kevin's wrists. He turned around and went to stand up, knowing he wouldn't be able to get Kevin free without something sharp.

"Don't go," Kevin rasped quietly.

Javier was back at his side in a second. "I'm just getting something to cut the ropes." He squeezed Kevin's hand once more before turning back to the cart. He tried to ignore all the bloody tools and grabbed a small clean blade.

He hurried back to Kevin's side and carefully cut the rope off of his wrists and ankles. "We're gonna get outta here now, okay?" Javier said, waiting for Kevin to get up.

"No," he said in a panic. "I can't. They said no."

Javier narrowed his eyes. "I don't give a shit about them, Kevin. Hahn's dead and if Magnus isn't, then I'll kill him myself."

Kevin looked at the lifeless body on the ground. He choked out a whimper. "I'm safe?"

If the sight of Kevin didn't already do it, that broke Javier's heart. "Not yet, but we're getting out of here. Come on."

Kevin made a face. "Javi, I can't."

That was the first time in days, he had heard Kevin say his name and oh, how he'd missed hearing it. But they still had more trouble to get through before they were finally in the clear and Javier would listen to Kevin say his name over and over.

"My legs."

Javier cursed under his breath. Of course Kevin would be a little shaky once he finally got the proper blood flow to his hands and feet after three days of being tied up. There was no way he was walking out of here.

"Alright, I'm going to have to carry you, but that's gonna make things a little difficult." Javier knew he was mostly talking to himself since Kevin wasn't all there right then. "You've got to help. There's a fucking fire fight out there and my only goal is to get you safe. Time to cash in some favors to the Big Man, Kev. We're gonna need a miracle to get out of here."

Bracing himself, Javier lifted Kevin into his arms bridal style. It had only been three days, but he already felt lighter.

Now that Kevin was in Javier's arms, his nose was overwhelmed with the stench of blood, pee, dirt and who know what else. "The minute we get out of here, you're getting doused in soap."

Javier took a deep breath (through his mouth) before he shoved open the door and entered the hall. The sounds of gunshots and yelling were now much more deafening. Kevin flinched at a worryingly close gunshot.

"It's okay, Kev, we're gonna get out of here."

Kevin didn't respond verbally, but he held on tighter to Javier and leaned his head on his chest. Javier knew that he was going to have to rush through this fight. They'd want Kevin back no matter what. Javier could easily fight them off, but carrying Kevin made it a little harder.

He ran down the hall to pick up speed. The second he burst into the main room, a man rushed towards him. Javier body checked him to the ground and kept running.

Javier was trying to avoid anyone while he kept his eyes on the front door. There were many NYPD members with vests and guns taking out the gang.

He caught sight of Beckett just as she knocked out one guy with her right hook. She looked up and say Kevin in his arms. He could see the relief in her eyes and she started fighting even harder.

He was distracted by her and didn't notice the man raising the gun at him until it was too late for him to avoid. Thankfully someone had their back and shot first. The druggie fell down.

"Bullseye!"

Javier knew that voice anywhere. He turned around where it came from and saw Castle hunched behind an overturned table with a gun in his hand.

Javier hurried over and kneeled next to the writer. "Castle, what the hell are you doing?"

Castle grinned. "Saving you ass, apparently." His eyes fell to Kevin in Javier's arms and his smile softened. "Hey, Kevin."

The half conscious detective smiled back weakly. "Hey, Cas'." His brow furrowed as he studied the writer. "You're bleeding."

Castle raised a hand to touch the cut above his eyebrow. "Got into a little scuffle before, but I won."

Kevin laughed, in a low wheeze.

"Castle," Javier said, getting his attention again. "I understand you wanna help, but you're just a writer. Let the cops handle it." He didn't say it cruelly,but he just didn't want to see Castle hurt.

"I can hold my own, Espo," he said, not offended and understood where Javier was coming from.

"I know, but you've got a daughter and mother to worry about."

"You three are my family too. I'm not leaving."

Javier sighed and used the quick break to fix his hold on Kevin. "Okay, fine, but you're coming with me. Watch my back while we make a break for the front door."

"No," Castle said quickly, startling Kevin. "They've got men ready to ambush there I heard. But on our way we scoped this place and found a window in the back alley."

Javier nodded. "Just tell me where."

Castle jerked his head to the side. "Down that hall."

Javier was his feet without hesitation and Castle soon followed close behind as they ran down the hall. Castle shot his gun three times before they were out of view.

"Three down. Not many left," Castle informed him from behind.

Javier whistled. "Man, Castle, never knew you could shoot a gun that well."

"Are you kidding? I'm like Rambo."

Javier rolled his eyes and then checked on his partner. He noticed Kevin's eyes were drifting shut.

"Stay awake, baby, we're almost out." Kevin mumbled something unintelligible. But Javier guessed he was saying he was tired. "I know, but the doctors have to check you out first."

"Ryan," Castle said, "If you stay awake, I'll dedicate my next book to you."

" _Off the Rales_?"

"Yes. But you have to stay awake."

"Deal," Kevin said, even though he looked minutes from passing out.

"Here's the window," Castle said, coming up next to them. Javier looked out the dirty window, but didn't see anyone. "Okay, you take Kevin and I'll climb out first. Then you pass him to me."

Castle nodded, putting the gun in his waistband and held out his arms. Javier passed Kevin over carefully and made sure Castle had him before he turned and opened the window.

He gave one last look to Kevin before climbing out of the window. He scoped the alley, but saw nothing but dark shadows. "Alright, Castle, I'm ready."

Castle was careful and there wasn't room from the window to Javier's arm so it was an easy transfer. Once Kevin was safe in his arms, Javier called up, "C'mon, Castle, let's get to the bus."

"I don't think any of you are making it out of here," a new voice from behind said.

Javier turned around and came face to face with the man responsible for all of this. The devil himself. Magnus looked even uglier and more dangerous than his picture on the file.

"It's over, pisshead," Javier growled.

"I'm afraid we're not done with our fun."

"Oh, yes, you are."

"Before we get into this, how about you tell your boy in the window to drop his gun." Magnus quickly pulled his gun from behind his back and raised it in the air and aimed it at Kevin. "Or else I put a bullet between _his_ pretty blue eyes."

Javier's heart skipped a beat. He wouldn't let him hurt Kevin anymore. "Castle, stand down."

Javier couldn't tell if Castle listened, but Magnus lowered his gun. "I should have known you were a cop. Probably his partner judging by the way he stared at you back there and how you couldn't hurt him." Magnus grinned. "Let me guess, you're Javier?"

Javier's eyes widened. Kevin would never have given anything up to Magnus. He stayed quiet during their time with Lockwood. Javier knew he wouldn't give up now.

"Oh, so you are." Magnus shrugged his shoulders. "A few of the drugs made him a little... _confused_. He mumbled your name quite a few times."

Javier growled and would have punched him if Kevin weren't in his arms. "You son of a bitch."

"Don't worry, you'll get some good times too. Unless you want to hand him over and we can forget I ever saw you."

Javier held Kevin closer. "You're not going to touch him."

"Do you really think you have a chance? You're not walking away from me. _Nobody just walks away from me_. Just look at your poor boyfriend. He tried to get get away from me."

Javier looked down at Kevin. Even in the dark of the shadows, he could see how badly bruised and swollen his face was. He couldn't even see if he was still awake.

"His sister tried running -several times- but she always came back. Now that she's gone, I have her dear brother." Magnus stepped closer and Javier backed into the wall. There wasn't much he could do except make sure he didn't take his hands off of Kevin. "And once I shoot you, it'll be easy to take him away where the cops will never find him." He lifted his gun up against Javier's temple and Javier couldn't reach for his own gun with Kevin in his arms. "On second thought, maybe I'll keep you alive just to make you watch him suffer."

"Get away from them, Magnus."

Both Magnus and Javier turned to the opening of the alley where they saw a woman walking towards them.

"See," Magnus said with a sick grin. "I told you she always comes right back."

"Emily! You were supposed to stay away! What the hell are you doing?"

Emily ignored Javier. "Leave my brother out of this, Magnus. He doesn't deserve this. He's a good man and all my life he's only tried to protect me. And his partner is a brave man that was there for him when I wasn't. He risked everything he had to save him." She gave a small smile to Javier and Javier could see how broken she was in her eyes.

"But me? I've never done anything for him. I _deserve_ to be in his spot." She took a deep breath. "So if you let him go, I'll come back to you. No running or fighting. Just you and me. _As long as you let them go and never go after them again_."

"Emily, he's going to kill you," Javier said, even though he was the one with the gun still to his head.

"I know," she said softly.

Magnus finally dropped the gun and backed away from Javier and Kevin. Javier knew Magnus wasn't going to give up two cops that easily. He'd probably go over, kill Emly and then come back to him and Kevin. Javier couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let Kevin die and he wasn't going to lose Emily either.

He was struggling between freeing a hand to grab his gun and still hold onto Kevin, but just as started, a gunshot echoed throughout the alley and he was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you all liked it. Your reviews really make me smile.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's an extra long chapter for all of you. 
> 
> I expected to have more written this week off from class and have my secret Santa fic up but that didn't happen because my family got the flu and a stomach virus for Christmas so yeah the holidays stunk in my house. I also did not expect a mental breakdown today that really just wiped me out but thankfully my friend was there in the moment and talked with me so here I am. 
> 
> enough about me and onto the fic...

Javier blinked. He saw the body fall and it didn't get back up.

"Emily!" Javier ran towards her, Kevin still in his arms. "Are you okay? Were you hurt?" He looked her up and down.

She looked paler and definitely startled, but other than that, Javier didn't see anything wrong.

"I'm fine, but who…?" She let her question trail off as she looked down at Magnus on the and the bullet hole in his shoulder.

"I told I'm a great shot!" Castle yelled, jumping from the window with a smile on his face.

Javier had forgotten Castle was hiding up in that window with a clear shot of the alley. It seemed Magnus did as well. Castle ran over to the three.

"First, I save Ryan and Espo and now Emily. I am on fire today. I can't wait to tell Beckett."

Javier turned to the writer and held his arms out. Castle was the only person right now he was trusting with Kevin. He didn't have the training that Javier did, but he wouldn't have much trouble holding Kevin. "Hold him for a minute."

Castle took Kevin in his arms without hesitation.

Once Kevin was safe and settled, Javier turned to growl down at Magnus. "Do you know how easy it would be right now to put a bullet in your brain?"Javier kneeled down and pressed his gun to Magnus' head. "For everything you did to Kevin. The pain and humiliation you put him through." Javier paused before he said, "But I'm not. You know why? Because then you can't suffer. _And I want you to suffer_." He stood up and pressed all his weight on his hurt shoulder. "So I'm going to let you rot in jail."

Magnus tried to glare back, but his face was showing too much pain to be effective.

Javier smirked down at him one last time and removed his foot from his shoulder. Before he walked away, he remembered how his partner was treated and spit down on Magnus' eye. "That'll hold me over until my partner can get a hand on you himself."

Javier walked away from Magnus and turned back to Castle. "I've got him," he said, taking Kevin back in his arms.

Emily came over to his side. "How is he?"

Javier looked at all Kevin's bruises and cuts and swallowed thickly. "He'll live. He's strong."

Just then, footsteps and shouts filled the alley. "They're over here!"

Javier tensed up, ready to fight until he had a bullet in his head if it meant keeping Kevin safe. But the one leading them was a familiar face and Esposito was relieved. Beckett was at their sides first while the other uniforms stopped to handcuff Magnus.

"Kevin," she said, her voice full of relief. She cupped his face with her hands but was careful of the cuts. The eye that wasn't swollen shut didn't meet her eyes though and it was worrying.

"He needs an ambulance," Javier said. "The dehydration is enough to get him."

"We've got a bus waiting." Beckett nodded her head towards the end of the alley where red and blue lights were flashing. Her eyes didn't leave Kevin though.

"You hear that, baby? You're almost home," Javier whispered to Kevin. Beckett and Castle exchanged a small smile before they followed Javier down the alley.

Paramedics met him halfway and took Kevin from his hands onto a stretcher. The first EMT looked down at Kevin at then back up at Javier. "When was the last time he had water?"

'Three or four days ago," Javier answered quickly, keeping an eye on his partner. "He's also got a stab wound on his left thigh. It looks bad."

The EMT nodded as they started to load him into the ambulance. "We've got him from here, sir."

Javier nodded and let go of Kevin's hand, knowing he couldn't keep Kevin from the treatment he needed. "What hospital?"

"St. Mary's," the paramedic answered just before she shut the doors.

Javier nodded, already turning around to get to a car. "I want to be behind the bus," Javier said to Beckett and Castle.

"I parked just across the street." Beckett nodded her head towards her blue Charger.

"Can I come with you?" Emily asked suddenly. She had been so quiet, Javier had almost forgotten she was there. "I want to see my brother."

Beckett nodded, but Castle wasn't about to let it go. "Oh, so when I don't listen to your _direct orders_ , my ear gets pulled, but she doesn't even get yelled at?" He wasn't really annoyed, he was just trying to help distract the others.

"Just get in the car, Castle," Beckett threw open the front door and Javier sat in the passenger seat.

With Beckett's driving, they were able to stay behind the ambulance. There was a shared anxiety in the car: they had all seen how difficult it was for Kevin to stay conscious in his state.

"He'll be okay, guys," Castle said. He could wait until later to bloat to Beckett about being pretty badass in that warehouse. He would wait until they _knew_ that Kevin was okay.

* * *

"You shot Magnus after he grabbed Emily Ryan?" The IA agent asked, going over his notes.

"Yeah, he was going to kill her and then take Detectives Ryan and Esposito, so I got my target in sight and shot," Castle repeated the story.

The agent nodded. "And Detective Esposito and Miss Ryan, can you confirm this?"

"Yes," Javier said, still distracted by not having any word on Kevin's condition. Emily nodded and that was enough for the agent so he said his goodbyes, wished Ryan the best and left.

"You sound like a hero, Castle," Beckett said without the usual joking in her voice.

"You should have seen me inside. Some creep raising a gun at Esposito, but he was holding Ryan so he couldn't shoot back, Luckily, I was there to put him down."

Beckett smiled at Castle and looked over at Javier. He had been staring straight ahead ever since they got to the hospital. He looked empty and broken. It hurt Beckett just to look at him. She wanted to say something, but she wasn't sure what would help.

Javier must have sensed her staring. "There was so much blood, Kate," he said softly. "He was in so much pain."

Beckett moved closer to him. "But you got him out. He's okay now."

"It was different." Javier breathed out softly. "When Lockwood tortured him, it was hell, but I was there with him every single second of it." Javier wiped his eyes and Beckett was surprised to see tears welling up. "And with Lockwood, he didn't leave any scars. There was no blood, no bruises. After he beat the pneumonia and hypothermia, he came back to work and acted like there was nothing wrong. But, you weren't lying in bed next to him at night when he woke up screaming." Javier took a deep breath. "I promised myself I wouldn't ever let him get hurt like that again."

"You couldn't have stopped this, Javi. Don't blame yourself," Beckett rubbed his leg. "You can help him get through this. You're always there for him and he knows it."

Javier nodded distractedly, "Can you keep your ear out for Kevin? I have to go outside for a minute."

Worry filled Beckett as she asked, "Are you okay? Do you need some company?"

But Javier shook his head. "I have to call my mom and tell her Kev and I can't make it for Thanksgiving."

Beckett watched him leave out the front door. He didn't pull his phone out right away, he paced back and forth for a few minutes in front of the window. Beckett saw his pained expression as he ran a tired hand through his hair and it broke her heart to see her family hurting.

* * *

Javier fell into the seat next to Kevin's bed with a heavy sigh. The doctors said he was doing well, but his body was trying to make up for the sleep he lost, fight off infections and heal itself. Javier was still worried why he was sleeping hours later.

Castle, Beckett, and Emily were behind him and Castle let the two girls take the remaining chairs as he stood behind Beckett.

When Javier called his mother and he explained to her what happened and why they wouldn't make it to Thanksgiving dinner, she was upset with him. She didn't know why he would try to hide the fact that Kevin was kidnapped, but she understood what he was going through. She wanted him to be with Kevin- she'd see both of them soon enough.

Right after the call, he took a moment to collect his thoughts and calm down before he entered the hospital again. Just in time for the doctor to call them in.

Javier didn't get a great look when he rescued him, but now he saw everything that they did to his partner. He wished he made Hahn suffer more. His face was discolored by bruises, one eye was swollen shut and he had a fat lip. Around his neck were distinct fingerprint bruises that made Javier nauseous every time he looked at them.

He looked pale wherever there weren't bruises and he looked small and frail wrapped up in bandages and covered in IVs taking care of his dehydration, starvation, and other things. Javier couldn't see all the bruises hiding underneath the blanket, but he knew they were there.

Javier took in a shaky breath and held Kevin's hand in his. He knew Kevin couldn't hear him, but couldn't help himself when he spoke softly to Kevin, "Kev, I know it hurts, but you've gotta do me a favor, okay?" Javier paused and stared at Kevin's unmoving face. "Wake up soon. I need to see those blue eyes again or I may just go crazy."

Javier went silent and waited for the slightest twitch, but nothing happened. He felt a soft touch on his shoulder and he turned around to see Beckett. "He'll wake up soon, Espo. We just have to give him time. He'll pull through this."

Javier rubbed Kevin's hand in his. "You hear that, corazon? We'll be right here until you're ready."

And they were. For the next few hours, they all sat and waited by his side.

The only thing keeping Javier sane was the steady rise and fall of Kevin's chest. The room was silent, besides for Kevin's machines and a few encouraging words Javier said to wake him up. Sometimes Castle and Beckett wondered if Javier remembered he wasn't alone.

"Let's make a deal, okay? I'll make the bed every morning. I'll rub your back at night. I'll let you drive. I'll even buy you that fucking dog you wanted. Just do me one favor, baby...wake up." Javier bowed his head and it hit the mattress. "I'm sorry, Kevin. I should have been there. You shouldn't have gone through that alone." Javier took a deep breath and picked his head up to stare at Kevin's bruised face. "You should have told me. I could have helped you."

His head fell back to the bed and he went silent. All he listened to was the beeping of the machines and the whooshes from the oxygen puffing out of Kevin's mask. He didn't hear Castle and Beckett excuse themselves from the room to get dinner for everyone and he didn't hear Emily move the chair up next to him.

He wasn't sure how long he was laying there, but then there was a hand on his shoulder and he looked over his shoulder. Emily was staring right back, her bright blue eyes looking exactly like his partner's whenever he was nervous. She licked her lips and Javier stayed quiet to let her say something.

"Esposito, I…" she paused to take a deep breath. "I know you don't like me and I can't really blame you because of what I did to Kevin...it's unforgivable. It's my biggest regret." She continued to keep eye contact with Javier as she spoke. "I want you to know that I'm sorry and when everyone else threw Kevin away, you stayed by his side. So thank you."

"Emily-."

She shook her head. "No, just listen. I'm leaving soon. After Magnus' trial and the Witness Protection sends me away, I'm out of Kevin's life forever. So all that I ask is for you to say by his side. He loves you something awful. And I know I can trust you with him. He needs you." She sighed. "I don't deserve it, but-."

"I forgive you, Emily."

"Wait, what?" Emily paused, her eyes widening in shock. "But I thought you hated me? Kevin is hurt and it's all my fault." Her shoulders sagged.

"You were ready to give your life to save mine and Kevin's. And I know you regret what you did. I made stupid mistakes when I was a kid too. I was able to pull myself together early on, but you just started too late." Javier gave her a small smile. "You've beat yourself up enough. I don't want you to waste the little time you have left with your brother."

Emily smiled back, relieved that Javier was finally forgiving her. "I'm glad you were always so angry at me...it shows me that you really care about Kevin. I'm glad you were the one there for him." Her smile fell. "But what if he doesn't want me here? What if he wants me to leave?"

Javier shook his head and put a comforting hand on her leg. "You're his little sister and he missed you. I know he doesn't want you to leave."

Emily sniffled, turning her gaze to Kevin. "He looks so small. When I was young, he always looked so big and tall."

Javier chuckled. "Kevin big and tall? Yeah, right."

"Well, when he's got a black eye from his older brother just for sticking up for you, again and again, he starts to look like Superman."

Javier smiled softly down at Kevin and held his hand. "That's my partner: too much heart."

"He doesn't deserve this," Emily said as a single tear fell down her cheek. "The last Thanksgiving we spent together was a mess. Pa had family over and I didn't think I could handle it without smoking a joint beforehand. Kevin spent dinner trying to keep everyone's attention off me being high. The whole family criticized him for joining the Academy the entire night...and now he's in the hospital this Thanksgiving."

Javier was quiet for a moment before he said, "And I thought _I_ was going to be spending tonight in the hospital."

Emily raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Javier grinned fondly down at his partner. "Kevin, can't cook, but when he does, you better have two things handy: a fire extinguisher and food poison hotline speed dial." Emily smiled faintly as she listened to Javier. "He tried making something early in the morning -as in like four in the morning- and the other tenants weren't so happy to have to evacuate the building in January."

"He always burnt my mac and cheese," Emily said.

Javier laughed. "That's why he was only going to be in charge of the cranberry sauce tonight." He squeezed Kevin's hand softly. "Our first Thanksgiving together." He was quiet for a moment and then there were sudden arms wrapped around him. Javier froze- the contact was unexpected and he wasn't sure what to do next.

"Thank you, Javier."

Javier looked down at Emily in surprise. Only two people called him 'Javier': his mother and Kevin. "For what?" Javier still didn't move his arms to wrap around Emily.

"For staying." Emily pulled back. "Like you said, he's got a big heart. And before you, there was no one there for him to share it with...I just left him...so thank you for keeping him safe all these years," Emily punched his shoulder lightly with a grin. "He loves you, so if you break his heart I will whoop your ass."

Javier laughed. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Good," Emily said, with a small smile that Javier returned.

"I'll take care of him," Javier promised.

A mumbling brought their attention back to Kevin's bed. His eyes were barely open, but they could see the sliver of blue in his eyes. His oxygen mask was making it unable for him to speak clearly.

It took a second longer for Javier to react to the fact that his partner was finally awake. Javier jumped to his feet and leaned over Kevin. Kevin said something else with a lazy blink, but Javier still couldn't understand him. "Hold on, Kev." Javier carefully lifted the mask from Kevin's face, while keeping an eye on his oxygen levels.

Kevin took a deep breath. "I said, this must be another hallucination if you're holding my sister's hand." He tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Javier let go of the mask and left it around Kevin's neck to pull him into a tight hug. There was a lump in his throat when he whispered, "I missed you so much, corazon."

"I missed you too." Kevin rasped.

Javier pulled back and remembered that while the IV helped him with Kevin's dehydration, it didn't help with his dry mouth. "Do you want some ice chips?" Javier asked, already reaching towards the table.

"I'd kill for a glass of water," Kevin mumbled, not bothering to try and sit up.

As Javier filled a cup of water, Kevin turned to Emily. "Hey, squirt."

Emily tried to hold back her tears, but the nickname from her brother opened up years of unshed tears. "Kevin, I'm so sorry for everything. I know I'm the world's crappiest sister, but I'm sorry. We almost lost you and it was all my fault." She expected Kevin to agree and let her stew in her deserved guilt, but he did the exact opposite.

"Come here," he said.

Emily scooted her chair closer but didn't go as close as Javier did. She didn't deserve it.

"I'm sorry for-." She tried to apologize again, but Kevin shook his head. "Emma, it's not your fault. I'm the one that willingly met with them."

Javier returned to Kevin's side with a glass of water. "And if you ever do that again, I'll kill you."

Kevin smiled up apologetically at Javier, but Javier just glared at him. He held up the cup so Kevin could catch the straw in his mouth. Once he had a few mouth fulls and Javier pulled the cup away, he said, "All's well that ends well. You caught Magnus, right? There's no way you'd leave him free and breathing."

Javier paused, looking down at Kevin. "You don't remember?"

"No," Kevin admitted, his face scrunching up in thought. "I remember being in that chair for God knows how long."

"Three days."

Kevin raised his eyebrows. "Three days? Seemed much longer."

Javier could see Kevin's eyes cloud up as he began to think about that chair again. He pulled Kevin's hand into his. "Hey, hey, it's okay. You're out. Remember what I told you? You're safe."

"I remember it all in bits and pieces, but it gets more blurry after each time they came in with _the good stuff_." Kevin clutched Javier's hand tightly.

"No more, Kev. I promise. Hahn is dead and Magnus is going to jail," Javier spoke softly and slowly.

Kevin's breathing calmed down and his eyes met Javier's. " _You_ killed him."

"Yeah," Javier said with a nod. "Do you remember that?"

"I don't know," Kevin answered, looking down at his lap.

"Hey, it's okay. Don't worry about it. Just worry about getting your strength back up so we can get out of here. Then you can get a bath and a warm meal."

Kevin's stomach growled at that and Javier laughed. "Castle and Becket are bringing back something to eat."

Kevin nodded, but he looked up a moment later. "Javi, what's today?"

Javier furrowed his brow. "Thursday."

"Javi, we're supposed to be at your mom's! I ruined Thanksgiving."

Emily looked at her brother like he had ten heads. "You were kidnapped and tortured for three days and you're worried about Thanksgiving dinner?"

"It's our first together," Kevin said with a slight pout to his lips.

"We're spending it together and that's all that matters." Javier smiled at him.

"What about us?" A new voice said from the doorway.

Javier turned around and saw Castle and Beckett standing there with relieved smiles. They walked in and stood behind Javier. "Hey, Ryan, how're you feeling?"

Kevin looked up at Beckett. "Much better." Whether it was a lie or not, nobody called him out on it. He looked over to Castle and asked in concern, "What happened to your head?"

Castle's eyebrows furrowed. "My stitches? I told you, some goon clipped me with his gun."

"You told me...right." Kevin cleared his throat, trying not to look as confused as he felt.

"You don't remember?"

"I remember, but the last days have been kinda fuzzy. I've been saved so many times only to realize it's not real." He chuckled nervously and admitted, "I'm still waiting to wake up from this one."

Javier took Kevin's hand in his immediately. "No, corazon. You're really safe." He softly kissed his knuckles. "Magnus and his merry band of asswipes are gone for good."

"Once you're outta here and we testify, this mess will be all over," Emily said quietly.

"Someone will be by soon to get your statement," Beckett said, taking a seat on the foot of his bed.

"Can't they just look at me and tell?" Everyone in the room could easily see what was done to him and what he went through tied to that chair for three days without food, water, a bathroom or anything else needed to survive.

"If you want, we can stay right here for you. If it gets too much, I'll kick 'em out," Javier offered.

"They're going to talk to all of us to help put Magnus behind bars for a long time," Beckett said.

"I'm sorry I dragged all of you into this," Emily said quietly.

Beckett shrugged her shoulders. "He was our murderer, we would've been involved anyway. We've tried to get him to confess, but he lawyered up."

"He's probably got the best lawyers in New York. What if he walks?" Kevin shifted in the bed with a frustrated groan.

"We're nailing him, Ryan. We've got a witness and you can help on the stand."

Kevin paled a bit. "I'm going to testify?"

Beckett shook her head. "Not if you don't want to." Whenever Beckett had a witness or victim that was reluctant to take the stand, she would give them the option not to, but end it with, "but I highly suggest doing everything you can to make sure this person goes behind bars so they can't hurt anyone ever again." But she didn't say that to Kevin. She didn't want him anywhere near Magnus again. She just wanted to keep him safe and sound somewhere no one could ever touch him again. If he was uncomfortable up there, she didn't want to force him. They could seal their case without him speaking.

"No," Kevin said quickly. "I'll take the stand. How else can I watch this bastard get carted away for good?" He smiled and it hurt to watch him wince around his split lip.

"That's my boy." Beckett grinned.

"Here's how you can thank me," Kevin said, changing the subject. "Go home and enjoy what's left of your Thanksgiving."

"He just wants alone time with his boyfriend." Castle wiggled his eyebrows at Kevin.

The Irishman shook his head. "No, he going to his mom's."

Javier scoffed. "If you think I'm leaving after I just got you back, you're crazy."

"You're so annoying."

"Love you too." Javier leaned forward and placed a kiss on Kevin's chapped lips.

"I missed that," Kevin whispered as Javier pulled away. Javier hummed in agreement.

And of course, Castle had to interrupt their moment. "Did you miss me?"

Kevin chuckled. "'Course I missed you, Castle."

Castle walked closer to Kevin and leaned down. Kevin looked him up and down and frowned. "What?"

Castle looked genuinely confused. "Where's my 'I miss you' kiss?"

Kevin laughed so hard, he pulled at the stitches on his chest. Castle smiled but didn't move. Even Beckett was laughing. "Castle, leave him alone."

Someone cleared their throat from the door and Castle straightened himself quickly. "Detective Beckett? I'm Louis Cowl representing your case." The man, who was obviously an attorney walked in.

Beckett walked over to him and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you. This is Richard Castle, Detectives Esposito and Ryan and Emily Ryan." She gestured to each of them at their respective names.

"I was told our witness was here as well as the kidnapped detective." He nodded to Kevin. "I'm sorry, Detective. I will make sure he goes away for everything he's done."

"I'm already helping with the case. I'll take the stand if you need me." Kevin tried to sit up without wincing.

Cowl looked impressed Kevin was already offering. Castle grinned and said, "He's a tough cookie."

"So I see," Cowl commented. "And I'm proud to be handling this case." His smile wavered. "I just need a few pictures of your injuries so I can submit them to the court."

Kevin nodded as Cowl pulled out a camera. He'd seen this done to many victims, but he never expected to be on the receiving end. He started with his face and neck. Cowl made small talk to fill the silence. "When you're up there, it'll be a little nerve wracking, but you'll be fine."

"I know. I'm not scared. I can't wait to bury him," Kevin said, stretching his neck so Cowl could get a better look at the bruises.

Cowl smiled. "That's what I like to hear." He patted Kevin's leg to let him know he could relax. "I'm just going to do your chest and then I'll be out of your hair."

Kevin started to push himself up so he could pull down the hospital gown, but Javier stood up to help him. "Hold on, baby." Javier carefully helped Kevin pull his arms out of the gown and let them rest by his waist. Javier quickly looked away from the bruises and scrapes and stitches that covered his chest. He had seen it enough when he carried Kevin out of the warehouse.

Cowl quickly took the picture and once he was finished, Kevin was able to lay down again. Javier eased him down and pulled the gown back over his chest. "Relax, Kev."

"I'll see you again later. I can see you're all tired, Detective. I will call back if I need anything else, but I think I'm good."

"Thank you Mr. Cowl, "Beckett said on behalf of Kevin.

"Happy Thanksgiving," he said with one last smile before leaving.

The room was quiet once he was gone and Kevin knew why. "Stop it."

Javier narrowed his eyes ."What?"

"I know what you're all thinking. It's not your fault. None of this is. Soon, the bruises and stitches will be gone and I'll be fine."

Javier gritted his teeth. "Never again, Kevin. Nobody will ever hurt you again."

Kevin smiled sadly. "You can't promise that, Javi. We're cops. You can't always protect me. I'll get punched and stabbed and in some many more life threatening situations. But it will never be your fault."

A soft laugh brought everyone's attention to Emily. She noticed the staring and quickly wiped her misty eyes. "Sorry. I just… I can't believe I gave all this up. You two love each other so much and I will never have that."

"Yes, you will, Emma," Kevin said. "You're out of that life now and you're only twenty-five years old."

"I'm sorry for what I did. For leaving you alone," she said, ignoring his words.

"I heard you're the one that saved my life in that alley so we can consider ourselves even." Kevin smiled.

"Hey," Castle butted in. "I saved your life too. Javi was carrying you through the battlefield and some lowlife was about to shoot you two. I took him out. You're welcome."

Kevin tilted his head. "Sorry I don't remember that, but it sounds pretty bad ass."

"Damn straight it was." Castle puffed out his chest.

"Wish I coulda seen it."

"You did," Castle said trying to keep the mood light. "You were worried about my bleeding head then too." Kevin chuckled. "You also mumbled something about scars being sexy, but I didn't want to mention that in front of Espo." He lifted a finger to his lips.

Javier rolled his eyes. "You wish he was talking to you. He was just remembering his favorite scar of mine. Remember a few years ago when I was shot in the thigh...just by my…" he trailed off, gesturing to himself.

Castle raised his hands. "Okay, I did not need to hear this."

Beckett laughed. "You started it."

"Are they always like this?" Emily whispered to her brother.

"Unfortunately," Kevin said with a smile on his face. Emily smiled over at Castle and Javier as they finished their bickering. They were trying to keep everything normal as they could. She met Beckett's eyes and the detective rolled hers with a grin.

Their bickering turned into a quiet conversation. Kevin even relaxed enough to close his eyes and settle on listening to the conversation.

The ringing of Castle's phone disrupted them a few minutes later. Castle picked it up and talked briefly with only "uh-huh"s and a "see you, soon." Once he hung up, he turned to Kevin. "Hey, Ryan, do you mind if Beckett and I run home just for an hour or so? Alexis just got home and wants to wish us a happy Thanksgiving."

Kevin nodded his head. "I told you I wanted you to spend today with your family. Go. Tell Martha and Alexis I said Happy Thanksgiving."

Castle smiled. "Of course. And we'll be back later. You're family too."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "I'll be fine. Javi and Emily are here and I may pass out on them soon."

"Okay, but we'll still be back," Castle said stubbornly as he walked towards the door. Beckett followed him out after she kissed Kevin goodbye.

Once they left, Kevin's smile faltered. Javier squeezed his hand. "They'll be back soon, Kev."

Kevin shook his head. "No, they should go home for Thanksgiving. I just wish we could too."

"The three of us can have our own dinner here. We can get turkey sandwiches and I'm sure they have cranberry sauce."

"I'm sorry." Kevin frowned. "I know you were excited to cook with your mom."

"I was excited to spend it together. And we are. Only yesterday I thought we wouldn't. So I think eating crappy hospital food together is something to be grateful for."

Kevin shifted in his seat with a wince. "Can I get a nurse to give you some painkillers?" Javier asked.

Kevin shook his head., easing back into a more comfortable position. "No, I don't want any more drugs in my system."

"Right", Javier said softly. "I'm sorry."

"I've had my share of coke while undercover. Never a lot, just once every blue moon to keep suspicions down. But what they gave me was worse than anything I've ever had."

"That bad?" Javier asked.

"Well, I felt like I needed to puke out my intestines, but couldn't because there was nothing in my stomach. And the hallucinations were pretty vivid. I passed out sometimes and would wake up with a killer headache worse than any headache I've ever had. And I pissed myself, so it's safe to say I'll never go near another drug again."

"They gave you a bad load," Emily said. "Magnus doesn't waste any shipments, so if something's bad, he saves it for those who betray him. Sounds like you handled it pretty well from what I've seen."

Kevin leaned back on his pillow. "I don't even want to think about it anymore."

"Don't worry about anything," Javier said, rubbing Kevin's arm. "Just take nap and we'll wake you for dinner."

Kevin didn't say anything, he just let his eye drop shut. Javier and Emily exchanged a sad look, both hoping he had a peaceful rest.

* * *

Kevin woke up to a gentle shaking of his shoulder. He mumbled grumpily and tried to ignore it. "Corazon, wake up," he heard his favorite voice whisper. Kevin couldn't help the small smile that grew on his lips.

"There's that beautiful smile." Javier kissed his lips softly.

"'M trying to sleep, Javi," Kevin muttered.

"Well, Em and I are hungry and the cafeteria just put out dinner. We have to go now if we want a hot meal."

 _Em?_ Kevin cracked an open. "You're rushing for a hot turkey sandwich?"

"Better than eating off a tube."

Kevin couldn't argue with that. The month old Chinese food in the back of their fridge sounded pretty great right now. "Fine. As long as I can get up. My ass is numb from sitting on for the past three days."

Javier shook his head. "Sorry, Kev, you're in a wheelchair. No way you can walk with your thigh like that. Doctors said you're going to have to go to PT to get the muscle back."

"They're letting me out of my room?" Kevin asked with a furrowed brow. "Don't the nurses usually just bring up the food?"

Javier exchanged a quick glance with Emily before addressing Kevin. "Since it's Thanksgiving they're letting us use the tables downstairs. As long as you can make it."

Kevin nodded and didn't even argue the wheelchair. There was no way he was going to put any weight on his leg if he was going as far as into the cafeteria. He sat up and pulled at his hospital gown. "Do I have to wear this?"

"No, I picked up a shirt and sweats from the gift shop. They're a little big so they don't bother your stitches." He handed them to Kevin.

Kevin ran his fingers over the clothes. Javier rubbed the back of his neck. "I tried finding the softest thing in there."

"Anything's a step up, Javi." He unfolded the large sweatshirt. It was just a simple black with the hospital's logo on it.

"The softest happened to be the hospital brand." Javier chuckled.

"It's fine. I'm too hungry to care right now.: Kevin gestured to the back of his gown. "Can you untie it again?"

Javier nodded and undid the back so he could pull it off of him. Once again the nasty bruises and soon-to-be-scars. Javier couldn't take his eyes off them. He looked down when he felt Kevin's hand on his own. Then he saw the bruises around hi wrist from his struggling in the ropes. Javier brought his wrist silently to his lips to place a soft kiss on the bruise and did the same for his other wrist.

"Javi, it's not your fault."

"If only had found you sooner or before you left."

"No." Kevin shook his head. "You're the one that kept me holding on. They thought that you were coming to rescue me kept me going. And I'm home now."

"Thank God for that, baby." Javier leaned forward for a kiss. Kevin could have spent the rest of the night kissing Javier, but the rumbling of his stomach interrupted them.

Emily huffed. "Thank you. Now can we go eat instead of macking each other's faces in front of your sister?"

Kevin laughed. "Okay, let me just throw on my clothes." He lifted his sweatshirt to pull over his head. It was loose, but Javier helped him anyway. Javier then gave him the sweats to put on. Kevin looked over to Emily pointedly until she turned around. He tried to do it on his own, but he needed a little help from Javier to pull them up.

Kevin ran his hand over his uninjured thigh. "So soft. I understand why you like going commando now, Javi."

Javier winked. "It's pretty amazing, right?"

Kevin laughed until Javier leaned down and started to pull hospital socks over his feet. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Even if you're in a wheelchair, you're not going around the hospital barefoot." Javier pulled the other one on and then stood up. "You're lucky I didn't buy the pink ones."

Kevin glared at him heartlessly as Javier wheeled over the wheelchair. "Now come on, I'll help you into it."

"Just go slow," Kevin advised. "I haven't used my legs in a few days." Kevin grabbed on tightly to Javier.

"Don't worry, I've got you." Javier held his breath until Kevin was safely out of bed. He wobbled on his feet for a few seconds, but Javier kept a steady grip on him to ease him slowly into the wheelchair. Kevin didn't want to spend any more time in a chair, but at least Javier had put a cushion on this one.

"I'm ready," Kevin said when he noticed Javier wasn't moving. Then Javier started to wheel him slowly out of the room. He caught sight of a pack of cards spread on the table. "Where'd you get the cards?"

"Javier picked them up when he got your clothes," Emily explained coming to his side

" _Javier_? _Em_? Playing cards? What happened when I was gone?" Kevin asked incredulously.

"You were gone and we both wanted you back." Emily shrugged her shoulders.

"It took me too long to realize I was just being an ass," Javier said.

Kevin smiled. "I'm glad you two are getting along. Just in time free Thanksgiving dinner."

They made their way down to the cafeteria slowly. Kevin filled the silence once they were inside the elevator, "It feels so good to be moving around and to know food is on the way."

"I can't wait to get you in a shower," Javier said.

"Why, Javier Esposito, are you flirting with me?" Kevin grinned and looked up at him from the chair.

Javier laughed. "No, I'm telling you that getting washed down with a rag does not count as cleaning...but, I wouldn't say no to helping you."

"Do you guys do this purposely?" Emily asked from the other side of the elevator.

"You sound like Castle: always complaining when I spend time with my beautiful boyfriend."

Emily scoffed. "If you two are always this inappropriate in front of him I don't blame the guy." The elevator door slowly opened and Emily was more than happy to quickly rush out.

"Hey, Javi," Kevin said when they were a few feet away from the cafeteria. Javier hummed to show he was listening. "Do you think they have pudding?"

Javier laughed. "Pudding?"

"We can't have your mom's flan, but I'd still like some dessert."

"Sure, you can have all the pudding cups you want."

Kevin knew pudding wouldn't make up for the Thanksgiving dinner they missed, but it would help feel a little better. He'd feel a lot better when he could finally walk on his own. Sitting in a chair was not one of Kevin's favorite to do at the moment.

Javier pushed him into the cafeteria and Kevin thought he was seeing things again. He turned around to face Javier. "Javi…"

Javier was already staring down at him with a smile. "Happy Thanksgiving, corazon."

Kevin turned back to the cafeteria where tables were pushed together and covered with turkey, mashed potatoes, vegetables, stuffing and other Thanksgiving foods. But it wasn't the food that had him speechless- it was the people around the table. It was everyone he knew: Castle, Beckett, Martha, Alexis, Kate's dad and even Mama Esposito.

Kevin was frozen in his chair, but Javier pushed him forward where there was an empty spot to roll in his wheelchair. He turned to Castle and Beckett first. "I thought you two were going home for dinner?"

Castle laughed. "And leave you here? No way, Kev."

Before Kevin could even acknowledge anyone else at the table, someone leaned over and wrapped their arms around him. He could recognize this hug anywhere. "Hey, Mama," he said, his voice soft.

Mama Esposito pulled back and cupped his cheeks with her hands. "My poor baby." She caressed his swollen cheek with her thumb and then wiped a tear he hadn't even known he'd let fall. "Did you really think we'd leave you alone?"

Kevin just shrugged his shoulders, afraid to say something in a broken, tear-filled voice. He just wanted to enjoy Mama's hugs. He forgot how much he missed her motherly affection. His own mother had passed away the year Emily was born so Javier's mother always made sure to fill in for her when Kevin needed it. Like right now.

Kevin pulled her close for another hug. "It's okay, baby," she whispered. He would have liked to let her hold him longer, but he had an audience and dinner was getting cold. He let her go and she placed a kiss on his cheek before pulling back and standing straight again.

"You got out of cooking this time, but you're coming over soon and we'll have a raincheck." Mama Esposito took her seat with a wink.

Kevin laughed and looked around the table again. He had been upset that he wasn't going to be spending Thanksgiving with his family, but now they were all here and he couldn't be happier.

Javier kissed his cheek before he took his own seat next to Kevin and Emily took the seat on the other side of him. "You still want that pudding cup, Kev?" Javier asked with a teasing grin.

Kevin didn't respond right away as he looked around at the table again. "You guys did all of this?"

"Your boyfriend only told me earlier today that you were missing -which I still have to yell at him for- so I already had everything started," Mama Esposito said.

"And me and Gram just made more everything because Dad kept telling us they'd get you home in time," Alexis said with a smile.

"I don't know how to thank you all. This is too much." Kevin looked at all the food and everything they did for him and he felt self-conscious.

"You're family, dear," Martha said. "I think you already know how we'd go through hell and back for family."

Kevin turned to Emily and smiled. He really did know.

He turned back to the rest of the table and cleared his throat. "I'd like to say Grace, if that's okay." He waited for the nods before he closed his eyes and folded his hands. "I'm thankful for all of you- I thank God for giving me this wonderful family. But today," he paused to take in a deep breath. "Today, I'm grateful to be home with them. And to not have to eat turkey sandwiches and pudding cups from a hospital on Thanksgiving." Kevin laughed weakly, trying not to cry again.

"Still would have been better than your cooking," Javier piped in and the table joined in the laughter.

Kevin ignored him and continued, "I'd also like to thank God for bringing me my sister back. And I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my overprotective boyfriend, so I guess I have to be thankful for him too." Kevin took in a deep breath. "And everyone else at this table that doesn't have to stay by me, but still does, I could never thank you enough." He stopped and opened his eyes to see everyone smiling softly at him.

"We love you too, Kev," Beckett said.

Kevin felt tears falling down his cheeks again, but he didn't bother to try to stop them. He was happy to be back home with his family and he wanted everyone to know.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter and I will post the epilogue in a few moments.


	10. Chapter 10

"Ms. Ryan, we don't want you to miss your flight," the driver of the SUV said.

"I'll be right there," she called back. She was standing outside Kevin's apartment with Kevin and Javier.

Earlier that day, Magnus was finally found guilty of all his crimes and was being shipped off to prison for life. Now it was time for Emily to start her new life where no dealer in Magnus' circle would ever find her again.

"So I guess this it." She held a small overnight bag in her hands.

"You'll be safe now," Kevin said softly.

Emily looked up with unshed tears shining in her eyes. "What about you? Magnus told you to watch your back."

"Emma, if I had a nickel for every time a perp said crap like that to me, I'd be a millionaire." He smiled softly. "Besides, I'm not going anywhere. You can always check up on me."

"Why can't I call you and still talk to you?"

"You know if God forbid Magnus ever had people come looking for you, they could easily find you through me. My phone records, they could even tap into my phone lines. It's safer like this."

She sniffled loudly before pulling him into a hug. Kevin wrapped one arm around her, but kept the other holding onto his crutch that he used to get around. His thigh was still healing and he wasn't fully able to hold his weight for long periods of time yet. She squeezed him harder and Kevin ignored the slight pain. "I'm gonna miss you," she said in a broken whisper.

"Don't cry, squirt." Kevin rubbed the back of her head softly. "You've gone your whole life without me."

"Not a very good life," she mumbled.

Kevin pulled himself back to look her in the eyes. He wiped a tear from her cheek. "Now you won't have to be near him. Just stay clean and you'll be fine."

"I just wish I could've gotten clean sooner. I don't want to say goodbye." She had a sad smile on her face.

"You'll be okay. Now it's your turn to start a new life and be happy. I believe in you."

"Ms. Emily," her driver said, his voice holding some warning in it. She had to hurry before she missed her flight.

Emily bounced on her feet slightly before she engulfed her brother in another hug. "I love you, Kev and I'll never forget everything you've done for me."

Kevin squeezed her hard too. He didn't care about the pain. This was going to be the last hug he gave his baby sister. "I love you too, squirt."

"Will I ever see you again?"

Kevin didn't answer, but he knew she could read the answer clear in his eyes. She nodded solemnly. "Okay." She wiped her eyes again. "I better get going or else I may never leave." She chuckled softly.

She turned to Javier and said, "You better take care of my big brother or else I will come get you."

Javier spread his arms out. "I'll miss you too."

She smiled and let him pull her in for a short hug. When she pulled back, she said to both of them, "Thank you both for everything." With one last smile, she turned around and started walking towards the car. She tried not to look back at Kevin, but she couldn't help it as she put one foot in the car. She waved once and the boys waved back as she got in the car and shut the door.

Kevin watched as the car started and drove away until it disappeared around the block. He felt a strong arm wrap around his waist. Kevin tucked himself into Javier's side. He finally let a tear fall. "I know she wasn't staying, but I didn't know it would be this hard to say goodbye."

Javier kissed the top of his head. "I know, mi amor."

"I said goodbye once and I thought that was hard enough. This time is even harder," Kevin said.

"You're not losing her this time. She's just starting over. And she's safe this time."

Kevin nodded and knew that over time, it would start to hurt less. But no matter how much less it began to hurt, Kevin knew that he would never forget her. He couldn't break a promise like that…

* * *

"Kevin, why did Mommy leave us?" Emily whispered into the silent night besides for the few talkative crickets.

Kevin frowned and turned to look at his little sister. "She didn't leave us, Emma."

Today was Emily's sixth birthday. The day had gone okay enough: their father didn't start a fight with Kevin. In fact, their father actually behaved today. He even had presents and cake for her. But after the sun set and everyone else in the house had gone to bed, Kevin and Emily snuck out.

They took a train and then a bus to the nearest beach where they were now lying in the sand. Every so often, the tide would roll up and lick their toes as they looked up at the stars. It was Emily's favorite thing to do.

"Then why isn't she here?" Emily asked innocently.

Kevin sighed. He shouldn't be the one explaining this to her. She was getting old enough to know, but she knew better than to ask their father about the mother. "She just couldn't stay."

"Will we see her again?" Emily rolled over to face Kevin.

Kevin looked at her big blue eyes that shone even in the dark. "Yeah, I think we will."

"I want to see her now," Emily whispered sadly.

Kevin sighed and pulled her in close so she rested her head on the crook of his arm. "I miss her too, squirt. But do you wanna know a secret?"

Emily nodded her head rapidly and Kevin chuckled softly. "Even though you can't see her, Ma is still here with us."

Emily furrowed her eyebrows. "Where is she then?" She asked dubiously.

"Look up," he said softly and he waited for her to do so. "Mom's up there watching down on us."

"Really?" Emily asked, her voice full of hope.

"Yeah." Kevin smiled. "Just find the brightest one and that's her."

Emily let her head rest heavily on Kevin's arm as she searched the sky. It didn't take long before she was pointing up. "There she is."

"You found her," Kevin said. "And she'll always be there for you. Even when you think she's gone."

Emily was quiet for a brief moment before she spoke again, "Will you leave me too?"

Kevin quickly answered, "I would never leave you, Emma."

"What if you can't stay like Mommy?"

Kevin held her close and said, "If there should come a day where I have to leave, then look up to the sky and find me."

"And you won't forget me when you're up there?" She asked quietly.

"Never in a million years," Kevin said kissing the top of her head softly. "I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the end of this fic. I debated that ending many times bc I didn't want it to end like that but sadly, sometimes in real life things like that happen so I had to make it true and realistic. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed my story and please let me know one last time what you thought! I love you al and thanks for joining me on this ride:)


End file.
